Magic of Midsummer
by Zierra
Summary: Will things ever go right for Squall and Zell? Sequel to Magic of Christmas and all those others that came before.
1. Chapter 1

Title: Magic of Midsummer

Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with Final Fantasy 8 and do no make any profit off this fic. None.

Authors note: Yeah, ok. So this took way longer than it was supposed to. It took a year to write, then I let it simmer of another year, before it took me six months to have the damn thing written on the computer and.... what's it been now? Three months, of proof-reading. I'm sorry if it sucks, but after reading it a gazillion times, I'm so sick of it I can't tell what's bad and what's not anymore.

And since the uploading program on this site is worth SHIT when you use HTML, the whole thing's a mess now and I've just spent and hour and a half going through it AGAIN! So yeah, I wash my hands of this now!

* * *

**MAGIC OF MIDSUMMER**

Chapter 1

The morning was like any other morning had been for the past three months, except for one thing.

"Did I fuck up the pancakes?"

Squall looked up from where he was staring deep into space, zeroing in on Zell in worn baggy sweatpants and a wrinkled black tank top.

"Huh?"

"Is something wrong with your breakfast?" Zell gestured irritably with a spatula. "You haven't eaten."

When looking down, Squall noticed the plate of neatly stacked chocolate chip pancakes sitting before him untouched.  
"Sorry, I've got stuff on my mind."

"Work?"

"Yeah."

It wasn't a direct lie, because Zell could spot those immediately, but it was a slight bending of the truth and a mild case of withholding information.

Ever since he and Zell had made their relationship official three months ago and Zell had moved in, Squall had begun to second-guess every decision he made as Commander. The number of times where he would hesitate with his pen on a mission order had increased dramatically since they'd started their relationship, wondering what people would think of his decision to send, or not send, Zell on a mission.

The reaction to their combined coming out had not been late in coming.

The majority had wished them well (albeit not as enthusiastically as Selphie) though some obviously didn't feel comfortable being around him alone anymore, but that he could handle since most people hadn't been comfortable around him to begin with.

It was those that wouldn't accept any of it that was the roughest. Among the lesser things were questioning his leadership, like him being gay would suddenly make him less capable of being an authority in Garden, or inappropriate and lewd so called jokes about his sexual preferences, like he would jump anything even remotely male within three feet. Others had been down right threats, against him personally or Zell and people just refusing to take his orders.

Cid had made it perfectly clear that he was standing behind them, something Squall was eternally grateful for, but Cid's influence, and even Laguna's, only reached so far.

But Zell couldn't - or wouldn't - see it. Too him, everything bad that had happened; the notes, the phone calls, the scuffles in the hallway, all could be dismissed with a shrug; "Don't worry, Squall. They'll get over it."

Squall had tried to stress to him just how important and serious things were, with students leaving or switching classes, how some had even transferred to other Gardens altogether and with teachers resigning or terminating contracts.

Each time Squall had to sign a resignation or a transfer, it felt like a personal failure, but Zell just refused to discuss it, saying that he didn't care about what selfish homophobes thought.

Once that flippant attitude had worked as a counterweight to Squall's incessant brooding, but this time it just made everything worse.

Zell was well liked among both the staff and the students and of those that didn't care for him much, very few would dare to confront him with anything to his face. He didn't get to see or hear the things Squall did, wouldn't look at the bigger picture and sometimes Squall wished he could be that naïve and selfish too.

Everything, from the obstacles at work, to the almost suffocating support from their friends and family and Zell's utter inability to take anything seriously, was bringing him ever closer to an eruption.

"Wow, must be something really important if you can space out that long."

Squall was pulled back to the now by Zell the still untouched plate of pancakes and throwing them in the trash.

"Yeah, look We need to talk."

Zell sighed and put the empty plate in the sink with a little too much force than necessary.

"Not now, babe. It's a great day, and it's just starting. Can't we do this later and go see Ma instead, she's doing much better now?"

Ma Dincht had suffered from an illusive illness that the doctors couldn't really determine the cure of, going on and off medicines like other people changed underwear. Zell had suggested using magic, but even Squall couldn't sanction something like that and Zell had understood. That didn't mean that he'd stopped fussing over his mother, the way she'd always fussed over him.

But even Ma Dincht could tell things weren't right between them anymore, if the latest dinner at her house was anything to go by.

"No, well talk now. I got a letter from Commander Hawk at Galbadia." He stopped to take a calming breath and make sure Zell was paying attention. "It said, in more professional terms and less kindly that he's pulling back all current transfers including, and not limited to, instructors." He paused, staring up at his boyfriend. "Which means that Irvine is leaving. You can't tell me that's not bothering you."

Zell was frowning, eyes focused slightly to the side of Squall's shoulder.  
"Yeah, that's gotta suck for Selphie. I mean, they've been talking engagement and everything."

Squall couldn't help but stare dumbly for a second.

"That's it? That's your main concern? Were losing a collaboration we've had for over a decade, an event that's not only gonna have a huge impact on our classes and education, but is also considered one of Gardens biggest failures. And it sucks for Selphie?!"

At some point he'd gotten to his feet and backed Zell up against the sink and the blond had the decency to look slightly worried.

"I know you don't want to think about it and you're doing a great job not to, but this is really serious! Not just 'serious, but well get over it' but serious as in 'I don't know if I can keep doing this anymore'."

"You're thinking about quitting your job?"

Squall hated quitters.

"Yes, I do."

"Why?"  
It was like banging his head against a solid stone wall. Either Zell was totally dim-witted, and Squall knew that wasn't true, or he was wearing blinders to block out everything unpleasant around him. Including Squall.

"I can't do this anymore."

"Yeah, you told me, man, but I think you need to--"

"No, I meant us. As long as you don't understand how grave this situation is and that I need your help in this, you're just making it worse."

Zell had gone completely still before him; the body that constantly moved even when it wasn't supposed to, stood frozen.

"What are you saying?"

And wasn't that just the problem?

"I need a break. From everything if I could, but I don't think I can have that."

"So you want a break from me. A permanent break?"

"Probably not."

He really hadn't thought this through, he noticed, his mind pulling in a thousand different directions, and it didn't help that he was hopelessly late for work.

"Probably not", Zell echoed hollowly. "Right."

Squall reached out and put a hand on the blond's shoulder, felt it tightening up underneath his palm.

"We can talk about this later, ok? I have to get to the office. I'm sorry to put this on you now and then rush off but I need you to understand, Zell. Do you?"

Zell nodded along as Squall talked, wrapping strong arms around himself as an unsettling hardness formed behind blue eyes.

"Ok?"

"Yeah."

Squall had thought that once hed managed to make Zell aware of the severity if the situation, hed feel relieved, but whatever weight had lifted from his shoulders had settled cold and hard in his stomach instead.

----

"Squall, can you come in for a second?"

Quistis stood from her desk as Squall entered, momentarily taken aback by the grimness on his face, something she hadn't seen in a long time. She refrained from making a comment on it though, careful to mind her own business.

"What is it?", he asked gruffly.

"Nida called, said he wanted us both up on C-deck."

She'd always wondered why everyone insisted on calling it Captains deck, or C-deck for short, when B-Garden had never had a Captain. But her attempts at calling something more appropriate had fallen on deaf ears, so she had succumbed to the custom.

"What for?"

"Said he wanted to talk to us about a new flight plan."

Squall frowned, an adorable little pout forming and Quistis smiled.

"He has a flight plan. Why does he need a new one?"

"I assume thats what he wants to discuss."

She gathered up some papers and looked at Squall inquiringly. "Shall we?"

He was busy glaring off to the side, but he nodded. "Yeah."

It was unlike him to be this brooding, and Quistis never thought that day would come during their lifetime when she would think that. She'd gotten used to him being more forthcoming, sometimes even friendly, in the past year and a half, and it startled her when he reverted back to his old self.

As they reached the elevator to the top levels, Seifer was already standing there, waiting impatiently.

A familiar flutter started up in the pit of her stomach as she took in the sight of him.

Although very little had changed about the tall blond's appearance since the Sorceress War, or about him as a person, her view of him had changed drastically. Back then, he'd been selfish, arrogant, fierce and dangerous, and while he still was all those things - though maybe in shorter supply- he seemed a lot more approachable now and it fascinated her.

Just the way he carried himself these days, straighter and more relaxed, made her flush and -she reluctantly admitted- stutter, and how his ocean-green eyes would zero in and fix on her made her weak in the knees.

And that knowing smirk no longer made her want to strangle him with his shoelaces, though she desperately wished it still did, for her own sanity's sake.

If there was anything she hated, it was feeling helpless and Seifer always seemed ready to pull the carpet out from under her feet.

He turned as he heard them approach and his face immediately changed into a leer.

"Well good morning, Commander, Quistis. Enjoying a wee stroll, are we?"

Squall scoffed.

"Aren't you supposed to be teaching, Seifer?"

Seifer snorted and sneered simultaneously.

"I don't understand why you have me teaching these brats discipline. Its like having a hen teach chickens how to fly."

Quistis couldn't suppress a smile at the analogy and Squall made a rude noise.

"We hoped you might pick up something for yourself," the Commander said, stepping up beside him to glare menacingly at the elevator.

"Someone obviously woke up on the wrong side of the bed. Or did Chickie not blow you this morning?"

Quistis tried really hard to keep inappropriate thoughts about Squall and Zell together to a minimum, but Seifers total disregard for anything private always made it difficult. Usually his comments and suggestion would be accompanied by a very tell-tale blush creeping up Squall's neck and would immediately reflect on her on face, but this time the Commanders jaw just set harder, his eyes turning to steel.

Seifer luckily recognized it as a good time to shut up, so he gave her an exasperated look over Squalls head, shrugged and started whistling some cheery tune between his teeth.

When the elevator finally stopped on their floor, they all got in and Squall's foul mood made the already stuffed air in the enclosed space hard to breathe.

"So where are you headed?" She recognized her own voice a second after the question had been asked. Seifer looked away from the display counting up the floors and nailed her with a penetrating gaze.

"Cid called me up. Had a suggestion on lesson plans."

You'd think the old Headmaster had asked him to wear a pink tutu to class, with how his mouth twisted into a disgusted grin.

"Be sure to take notes."

He waved a small notebook in her face, smile wide and amused.

Quistis wasn't sure what her feelings towards Seifer could be defined as, but she knew she didn't particularly like how she'd think of him during the days and would dream of him at night, mostly innocently and sometimes...not so much.

She hadn't been in a serious relationship before and if you didn't count a couple of disastrous dates with the Assistant Headmaster of Deling Garden, she had never even had a boyfriend. She didn't know the difference between love and lust, or if there even was any distinction.

All she knew was that Seifer was more than just a friend and that any girl that looked twice and smiled at the former Sorceress Knight made her bristle and spit nails.

The elevator came to a startling halt and Seifer turned to wink at her as he stepped out and she stole a moment to admire his departing form before turning back to Squall, dark cloud still looming ominously above him.

"What do you think is wrong with the flight plan?" It was a futile attempt at making small talk, a concept Squall hadn't quite grasped yet, although he had made a few more or less successful attempts. "Maybe there are some problems with authorisation?"

Squall's eyes narrowed and Quistis wished she could curse skilfully at her faux pas. Bringing up problems about Garden was always bound to make Squall irritated.

"Maybe," he said, tense. "Or we've been called somewhere else. There could be many reasons why, there's no use speculating."

And yet there he was, speculating. And not coming to any pleasant conclusions, judging from his fisted hands.

Of course, she knew about Gardens recent setbacks and how some personally blamed Squall, since it coincided with him coming out of the closet.

Quistis had never paid any mind to gossip and rumours, but hearing second hand some of the things people had said about Squall, and how they had somehow incorporated Zell into what they considered his mistakes, had her seeing red. Obviously those that had started the rumours and the trash talk knew Quistis relationship with the pair and wouldn't talk when she was around, but she had sworn if she ever caught any of them... Well, lets just say the Disciplinary Committee would be like a bunch of sissies in comparison.

"Is everything alright?"

It was a dumb question, and Quistis wasn't usually prone to those, but she genuinely worried. If she'd been Selphie she might have straight out asked if the problem was Zell - usually that was what would put a damper on Squalls entire day - but she had learned her lesson about being that straightforward and curious.

There was a moment of silence before he answered: "No."

He didn't elaborate and she wouldn't pry if that were all he wanted to volunteer, but then he sighed.

"Three instructors have requested a transfer, affective immediately, and they don't seem to care where they end up as long as it's not here. And that's just this week. I can't quite figure out why they didn't do it sooner. Probably waiting to see if I would go first. At this rate we won't have any instructors, or students, left. Thank Hyne the SeeDs havent started quitting yet, but since I'm the one paying their salaries, its probably just a matter of time."

Quistis shivered unintentionally at his words, concern and anger both battling for precedence. There was no denying the severity of this mass-desertion, for whatever reason, but she didn't want to give Squall any reasons to think that she doubted or blamed him.

All she wanted was for people to accept the situation as one of lifes odd quirks and move on. They wouldn't accomplish anything by boycotting Balamb Garden. But then she took in the harried look in Squalls eyes, the shadows in his face, the obvious signs that he was losing sleep over this and she realized that maybe they did.

----

"Seifer! Come in, I'm sorry." Cid shuffled aside papers as Seifer stepped in, making strange motions with his hand. "I'm a little stressed. Garden's been forced to an alternate flight plan and its requiring some extra paperwork. Please, sit!"

Pausing mid-sit due to the ingrained habit of disobeying orders (even if Cid _had_ said please), Seifer wondered why Cid seemed so riled up. The Headmaster was getting more and more hyped up as the years went by, like he was trying to catch up to a pace he couldn't handle anymore.

"Now, why did I call you up here? Right, lesson plans. Have you ever considered role-playing?"

The snort was unstoppable, but Seifer managed to hold back enough to make it look like an unusually forceful exhale and shook his head.

He still couldn't decide if Squall had stuck him in this particular class because he had dared ask for more responsibility or because the brunet was just being a complete fuckwit and sticking Seifer with these annoying retards was just a way to prove what an ass he could be. If it was the latter, then mission accomplished.

Cid was babbling on and on about group exercises and personal growth and Seifer only tuned in enough to recognize when he was being asked a question.

His mind wandered to Quistis and how she switched between hot and cold in the blink of an eye.

After everything, he'd thought they had gotten closer and he had even tried starting up conversations with her when they met, something she seemed to accept with great reluctance.

But whenever he tried to move the topic onto more personal matters, she'd settle back into her old, tight-assed routine while giving him that lemony sour look and talked down to him like he was a child.

It was confusing, to say the least, because he could catch her looking and he'd seen her blush when he'd made a particularly bold advancement, but when he tried to unravel her a little more, she'd shut down, call him an inconsiderable jerk and stomp off.

No one had perfected the stomping off technique quite like Quistis.

And while he could appreciate the hard working, no nonsense attitude, he wondered if she could ever let her guard down or if she was all ice and barbed wire, through and through.

He didn't like to think of her as a female Squall, but he figured there was some truth to the saying "you are who you hang with".

"So maybe the kids need to feel what it's like to be the outcast and acting that out in class would be very helpful, I think."

"Very."

And speaking of Squall.

He had broken a kids jaw in the Training Centre last week after the little runt had asked if Seifer was barking up the Squall-tree too, or something equally stupid. They'd been a group of five, barely half his age and size, but theyd been so persistent that hed finally clocked one. He'd let the little fucker bleed and cry for a bit before he'd healed him and practically dared them to tell anyone.

It was their word against his and he may not have a spotless record, but since hed been reinstated hed kept out of trouble. At least as far as the Faculty was concerned.

He tried really hard not to think about _why_ he had defended Squall and Zell like that. He doubted they would appreciate the effort (at least Squall wouldn't, from a predictable moral point of view, and Zell was all protective and shit about the kids) and he could probably have written it off as self-preservation and pride - Seifer Almasy didnt bark up _anyone's _tree - if he hadn't interfered on other occasions as well.

He was probably, a little bit, _maybe_ sort of protective.

"So, what do you think?"

"Awesome. I'll get right on that."

Cid grinned triumphantly and Seifer clicked off the tape-recorder in his pocket and shook the Headmaster's hand.

----

Selphie looked up from her morning tea, cautiously watching Irvine chow down the toast like it was a race. He had overslept - again - this morning and after getting a pretty characteristic scolding from Quistis (one involving a lot of sarcasm, successful attempts at guilt and threats of bodily mutilation) Irvine had dressed hurriedly and inaccurately.

But Selphie couldn't muster to care about the dishevelled appearance of her boyfriend, not after the news he had conveyed to her the night before.

Transfer revoked. Those were the words she remembered the most.

She had known, objectively, that Irvine was only on loan to Balamb Garden and while it wasnt a time-limited contract, the possibility of him being recalled had always been there.

She just hadn't been expected it. Not after all this time.

After a sleepless night she was full of questions. Like why Irvine hadn't applied for permanent employment with Balamb Garden. If he had, had it been denied, and in that case, why? Had Squall tried to stop the order, and was he - unfairly - the cause of it? Did Irvine _want _to go back? Could she go with him, and did she want to? Would he ask? Were they breaking up? Had they-

"More milk?"

"What?"

Irvine was looking at her expectantly, holding out his glass. "I asked you for a refill. Where's your head, baby?"

She leaned back to get the milk off the counter. "In Galbadia, currently," she muttered, filling up the glass.

Irvine only gave her an odd look, but thanked her for the milk none the less. He chugged it down fast and rose, wiping his mouth on his sleeve, a bad habit she had desperately tried to make him stop doing.

He bent down to give her a light kiss on her temple, so normal and everyday that tears sprang unbidden to her eyes. She blinked them away quickly but Irvine had already switched to work-mode and left with a "later, babe" tossed over his shoulder.

She sat staring at his empty seat for a long moment after he'd gone, trying to imagine what it would feel like to never see him sit there again. Her mind was a jumble of half-finished thoughts, jumping from one deep end to another. She felt so utterly alone and it made her irrationally angry.

The Universe was too much to hold a grudge against, so she narrowed it down; Galbadia Garden. Balamb Garden. Squall. Zell.

Furiously wiping away tears from her cheeks, she strode determinedly out of her dorm. She knew perfectly well that Zell couldn't possibly be blamed for the frazzled state she was in or Irvine's inevitable departure, but he had introduced her to Irvine all those years ago and while it may be a bit far-fetched, she was too fed up with Hyne putting stops in the wheels for her whenever things were going good to bother with rational thought. She needed to cry, yell, maybe even hit someone, and if Zell really were her best friend hed be able to take a few punches.

Well, that was what she thought, until she ran into him in the hallway with an armful of clothes.

"I thought you handed all your laundry over to your mom after you shrunk your SeeD-uniform?"

She was trying to be sarcastic, but it came out mostly bitchy. Either way, Zell didn't smile.

"Yeah, well, it isn't laundry," he said, staring hard down the hallway behind her.

"So, where are you going?"

"Nowhere." He sighed and shook his head, before quietly admitting; "Seifers. He said I could store some stuff at his place for a while."

"Store it? Whats wrong with your closet? Did Squall buy another shirt and suddenly it's full?"

Again, not funny.

"Not likely. I just. I don't wanna talk about this right now, ok? I gotta catch Quistis before she goes to lunch."

Selphie frowned, hands going subconsciously to her hips. "Quistis? Are you in trouble?"

Zell wasn't widely known for being a troublemaker, people tended to back off rather than engage in a fight with him. But that didn't mean that Zell couldn't occasionally find himself in a tight spot, like last year when a couple of G-Garden exchange students suddenly got the brilliant idea to cause a ruckus is Zells martial arts class, hurting one of the younger cadets in the process and Zell had "stepped in", so to speak.

"I guess that depends on whose side you're on. Look, I hafta go, find you later?" He rushed off before waiting for her reply.

Selphie could count on one hand, with plenty of fingers to spare, the times where Zell had chosen duty over his friends. He even found ways to disobey direct orders, "just a little", to make time for them, so something must be seriously wrong for him to just bolt off like this. She was curious, sure, it was a natural instinct for her to want to know other people's business, but right now she had issues of her own and she could always grill Quistis about it later. The woman would deny it vehemently, but Quistis was born with a mean gossip-streak and Selphie knew how to milk it ruthlessly.

But with Zell off disposing his entire wardrobe at Seifer's dorm, and then going to see Quistis, Selphie's options for someone to talk to was narrowing down quickly, until there was really only one name left.

She turned around and headed for Seifer's.

She still found it odd that she would consider him one of her go-to friends, even though she had never _hated _him, like some people claimed they did. It was just that he was a very private person when it came to his own business and would fiercely defend it against prying eyes that she had thought that it automatically equalled him being completely disinterested in other peoples affairs, but that was obviously not the case.

Because Seifer had proven to be a great counsellor, mostly because talking about feelings made him so immensely uncomfortable, that he rattled off his advise quickly and to the point, to avoid having to talk about it more than necessary.

Maybe that was just what she needed; a strong dose of reality.

Whatever that was. Maybe she and Irvine had done theirs, no matter how awesome everything had been so far. Like Matron had once told her, all good things must come to an end as well.

When she stopped outside Seifer's door, she knocked tentatively and guiltily hoped Zell had already left. The door opened and revealed Seifer looked uncharacteristically serious.

"Yeah?"

You could say a lot about Seifer, good and bad, but his manners definitely needed improvement.

"Do you have a minute?"

"Just one minute? You promise?"

She smiled, or tried to, but Seifer must have seen what a struggle that was and sighed before ushering her in.

"Is this about Kinneas' transfer?"

She nodded and sat down on the worn leather sofa Seifer had somehow managed to get transported into Garden, probably with the help of Raijin and Fuujin. It was surprisingly uncomfortable and she didn't resist he nervous tick of picking at a crack in the fabric.

"Come on, Selphie, gimme a break here."

"I don't really know what to do."

The Gunblader was leaning against the wall across from her, giving her space.

"About him leaving? Don't see how theres anything you can do. An order is an order."  
She grinned, despite everything, amused by Seifer's sudden rulebook attitude. Amazing what a little disciplinary studies could do.

"Yeah, I know he's got no choice. I was thinking more about what _I_ should do. Go with him, or stay?"

Seifer crossed his arms and his biceps blessedly distracted her for a moment.

"Why would you want to go? And are you sure Galbadia would welcome _you_ with open arms?"

"What do you mean?"

Somehow Seifer knew she had referred to the latter. "Because if this is about Squall, they know about your _relationship_ with him, and considering their vindictive nature - they _are_ pulling Kinneas out of here, roots and all - they probably won't be that excited to have you come to them.

"And even if it isn't, theres been so many resignations that those that are supposedly loyal to Balamb Garden, should be seen sticking around. This isn't just about an unfair transfer order. Kinneas was only on loan, after all, and we all knew it. And if this _is_ about Squall and Zell, you of all people should support them. Although, as its looking right now, those intolerant fuckers are getting their wish."

Selphie was too busy processing Seifers words, that it took her a minute to really comprehend his last sentence.

"What?"

"What, what?"

"Intolerant fuckheads getting their wish."

It wasn't exactly what hed said, but that's what she thought and she had never felt awkward cussing around Seifer, mostly because hed taught her most of her favourites.

"Oh, uh." Seifer eyes crossed the room and landed on a big box with a pile of clothes stacked on top. Zell's clothes.

"Ah, fuck it, you'll figure it out eventually. Squall apparently broke up with Zell this morning, completely taking the little moron by surprise and Zell's in the middle of negotiating his old room back with Quisty. In my humble opinion, he's acting _**very** _prematurely, considering he can't get his facts straight, even to himself. But Chickie has always been impulsive and annoyingly impatient, so I'm not surprised he's making a big drama out of this."

Selphie managed to put her own problems aside temporarily and gawked at this new information. No wonder Zell had looked so sad when she'd seen him before.

"Wow, thats... Thats fucked."

Seifer threw her a mildly disapproving glare that she found unspeakable hilarious, but he nodded in agreement.

"Yeah, and from what I can tell were gonna have to pull all the strings we can to stop this from being a complete waste of time."

"Waste of time, you're enjoying this?"

"Of course not, since I seem to be your resident therapist. But you don't want to have to make a decision about Kinneas only to have the bastard come back in a month, right?"

Selphie smiled faintly.

"You really don't like Irvine, do you?"

Seifer snorted and changed his stance against the wall, arms dropping to his sides.

"He's handy in a pinch, I'll give him that, but he's a pain in the ass at all other times. He's way too arrogant."

She couldn't help but laugh, loudly and freely. While Seifer could be bluntly honest, sometimes even bordering on cruel, it could be precisely what the doctor ordered.

"Yeah," she said, a little breathless as the last of the sudden eruption of mirth ebbed away. "We have to do something. Squall and Zell have to stay together, otherwise it'll be all for nothing."

"Which is just a repetition of what I've said." Seifer stood up straighter and gave her an inquisitive look. "Frankly, I'm surprised you're so on board with that, considering Irvine must be happy."

She frowned, mostly because the sharp pinch in her stomach was almost unbearable painful. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, he wasn't so happy about all this even before it all went to shit. I guess he's more tolerant than I thought." He looked down at his wristwatch. "Are we done here? I was in the middle of a nap when Zell decided my dorm was the best storage-space in Garden and then you dropped by. I'm getting behind on schedule."

"Not even close, mister."

Despite the fact that she was confused about Seifer's last comment about Irvine, she still had things she wanted to ventilate.

"You're gonna sit your ass down and listen to me reminisce about my relationship with Irvine, or I'm gonna tell Quisty -- something really embarrassing about you!"

It didn't look like he believed her, but he smirked and sat down on the armrest of the sofa with an exaggerated sigh. "Alright, gush away."

-----

Zell knocked forcefully on the Headmasters door, trying to hold on to his determination.

After going by Quistis' office, which he belatedly realized brought him by Squall's as well, and finding them both empty, he'd almost lost all his resolve. But Zell was nothing if not stubborn, and he was gonna show Squall that he wasn't a crybaby anymore and could be mature about things, fuck the fact that he felt like breaking down and scream right there in the hallway.

The opening door revealed the old Headmaster behind his desk, looking up when Zell entered.

"Zell, what a surprise, I was expecting someone else."

"I'm sorry, sir, I won't stay long. I just want to ask you something."

Cid rushed to stand and offered him a seat.  
"No, no, sit, please, I have time." Zell figured that Cid wasn't really looking forward to whatever meeting he had been expecting, since he seemed so eager for a distraction. "What can I help you with?"

After Cid's decision to retire the previous year, Zell was under the impression that the Headmaster was bored. It was a work in progress to retire someone of high status within the ranks of Garden, with duties being delegated off to others while someone suited to take his or her place was selected.  
Zell knew Squall had been approached, before their relationship had been made public, but had turned it down. The official statement said he didnt feel ready to shoulder such a responsibility, but hed told Zell later that night that hed rather swim naked across the Great Salt Lake than take on a job that required a round the clock commitment and gave nothing but spit and cusses in return.

Squall wouldnt have been very good at it anyway, considering the post came with a lot of politics that the brunet not only loathed, but was utterly terrible at.

Which reminded him

"Is it possible for me to get my old room back? I know there was talk about someone getting it after me, but..."  
Cid did that thing he had where he nodded and shook his head at the same time, like he couldn't decide whether he agreed or not.

"No, its still available, nr 208, right? But why..."

He stopped himself, glancing at Zell while frowning worriedly.  
"It's just better this way," Zell said, sounding way more confident than he was feeling, "Considering."

After Squall had left that morning, he'd sat down and really thought about things. He realized that Squall had been right, that hed been turning a blind eye to the issue, ignoring it and therefore, unwillingly, made things worse.

The most obvious step would be for them to move apart, and since Squall had made it clear that the last thing he wanted was to carry Zell around like excess weight, he didn't even see the need to discuss it with his...ex-boyfriend first.

Better get it over and done with before he started doing something undignified, like crying.

"Yes, considering," Cid agreed. "I'm sorry to say."

While Cid rummaged through his drawers for the right form, Zell took a moment to ease the sudden stab in his heart. If everyone thought them better off separated, why hadn't anyone said anything before? It might have saved them a lot of trouble.

"Ah, here it is Lets see 1st class SeeD Lieutenant Zell Dincht Room 208... I'm assuming you want it right away. Right.... and a signature at the bottom, please."

Zell signed the form with a hand unsteady from trepidation, feeling suddenly empty. It shouldn't be this easy to sign away all you had ever wanted.

A knock on the door pulled him out of his misery.

"Thank you, sir," he said, rising from the chair at the same time the door opened behind him.

"I'll have your key card reactivated after this meeting. And I am really sorry, Zell. Truly."

"Me too, sir." He turned quickly, moved despite of himself by Cid's obvious concern, and almost ran straight into a formally dressed man who he'd never seen before. The man, who seemed to go on for forever towards the ceiling, only spared him the briefest of contemptuous glares before ignoring him completely and turned to Cid instead.

Just as he exited the office, Cid's phone rang. The Headmaster answered with profuse excuses to his guest and then suddenly called Zell back.

"We apparently have a new flight plan, Lieutenant Dincht," Cid was always formal when giving orders and/or in the company of other officials. "They are requesting assistance in the Engine room. Are you available for duty?"

"Yes, sir."

"Good, I'll let them know you're coming."

-----

Squall couldn't help but frown and glare a little as Nida, suddenly nervous, explained the need for a new route. Apparently they were headed directly for a massive storm, currently sweeping in over Dollet and would reach Deling City shortly. To avoid it they needed head a few degrees south instead, passing over the desolate lands surrounding the Desert Prison.

"Why is this such a big deal?" he asked, after authorizing the new plan. "Usually I get a call and I say yes or no. Suddenly you need me coming up here in person, and Quistis too, just for a few degrees?"

Squall may not be a huge fan of coordinates and such but he knew that a few degrees wasn't just like hopping a few steps to the right, but that the slightest altercation took them miles out of the way. But still, it wasnt like they'd accidentally end up in Centra.

"It's just that it takes us off neutral ground, Commander. Not that Deling is our enemy anymore, but we will be flying unauthorized over their domain for a while, sir."

"Well, I certainly hope youll ascertain authorization as soon as possible," Quistis said sternly.

"Yes ma'am," Nida nodded fiercely. "We're contacting Deling City as we speak."

"Good."

Squall let out a deep sigh, and rubbed at his temples, suddenly feeling so dreadfully tired. Ever since hed left Zell that morning, he'd incessantly thought of the blond and he had tried calling, but no one answered. Knowing Zell, he was probably off somewhere, over-thinking things. He knew he hadn't been very diplomatic about the situation, expressing himself rather vaguely of what it was he actually wanted, but he couldn't really thing about that now.

He could do that later when he was back in his office with nothing better to do than to self-pity and stare at the wall.

He tried to look more certain when he caught Quistis concerned frown.

"Does your head hurt?"

Squall snorted quietly, thinking of the massive bottle of painkillers that Dr Kadowaki had prescribed him just last week when his headaches reached massive proportions and Quistis had been forced to all but drag him to the Infirmary when hed been unable to access his own office.

"No, I'm just a little tired." It wasn't a lie as much as it was an enormous understatement, a contradiction in itself. "Feels like I could sleep for a-"

Garden suddenly shuddered, the kind of shake that no natural turbulence could cause, followed by that gut-tickling feeling you get from roller-coasters, of a high-speed altitude change. A big red light began blinking on the control panel and Nida breathlessly announced:

"Missile hit on the lower starboard decks! We're losing power, the Engine room must be hit."

"Can you set her down?" Squall demanded, already running the evacuation plans in his head.

"Maybe, sir," Nida didnt even seem sure about that. "The ballast tanks that keeps us balanced has been disrupted. Right now the only reason we're not plummeting to the ground is because were still moving from momentum. Once we slow, well drop like a stone."

Or like a gigantic inhabited air-ship.

"Missile? Didn't you just alert Deling that we were here?" Quistis asked no one in particular, looking angry, probably in an attempt to mask her fear.

"Can we do anything?" Squall asked instead, keeping his cool exterior firmly in place. This was so not the time for him to have that freak-out he had suspected was just one more serious issue away.

Nida opened his mouth then closed it, only to repeat the process, so Squall continued.

"We must assume the Engine room is completely incapacitated, they would've done what they could, if they could do it. Is there something else?"

Nida thought for a few agonizingly slow seconds, before shrugging.

"If we try to inflate the helium tanks we use for water-travel it might make us marginally lighter."

"Do it."

"Squall!"

Selphie came running into the control-room, staring wildly around. "What happened?"

Seifer came in behind her, Hyperion strapped at his waist. "We under attack?"

"We've taken a missile on the lower decks, possibly hitting the Engine room."

Selphie suddenly turned ghostly pale and Quistis hurried to her side to guide her to a chair. "Irvine...."

Squall sympathized but there was nothing he could do for her except make sure Garden got to the ground as safely as was possible.

"We don't know how bad things are yet." As if that was any comfort.

"What do we do?" Seifer asked, coming closer so Squall wouldn't have to talk so loud.

"We're crashing," he admitted. "We need to prevent Garden from overturning and Nida thinks the filling the helium tanks might help."

Seifer scoffed. "That's about as helpful as trying to parachute with drink-umbrellas. You want me to do it?"

Squall nodded and Seifer was already running for the door.

Too bad he couldn't be that efficient on a normal day.

"Squall," Quistis said, crouching by Selphie. "You need to say something."

She pointed at the announcement-speaker above the door and Squall reached for the microphone.  
_"This is Commander Leonheart speaking. We have been hit by a missile on the lower decks and as a result we are losing power. I need everyone to evacuate to the top decks as far as it is possible and brace for an emergency landing. All SeeDs and cadets of Balamb Garden, report to C-deck immediately. Please remain calm. That is all."_

As soon as the transmission was done, Squall turned and addressed the control room at large.

"We need to send a team down to the Engine room, to estimate damage and casualties."

Selphie sobbed, but it needed to be done and she knew it.

"I want a base set up where we can do an accurate headcount and-"

Suddenly everything tilted and as Squall fell forward, the control panel with its red and yellow lights blinking ferociously, rose up to meet him, his head banging against the unforgiving metal and he heard Nida scream, "Second hit, second hit, were going down!", before he blacked out.

* * *

I think that's the closest thing to a cliffhanger I have accomplished ever....

Please review!

PS: God, I have such a bad feeling about this......

Hugs, Z


	2. Chapter 2

Ok, next chapter! It took longer than I expected to get this part up, but all the nice comments made me so deliriously happy I couldn't concentrate. But don't let that put you off! I'll be faster next time, promise!

Still unbetaed, still doesn't belong to me, and I still don't have a clue what I'm doing.

* * *

**CHAPTER 2**

When Quistis came to, her first concern was the gash on her forehead that oozed blood into her eyes. The shrill beeping of the emergency evacuation alarm hurt her ears and as she tried to stand to turn it off, she found herself trapped under a chair. It wasn't heavy, at least not normally, but she felt weak and disoriented and she couldn't move it.

She heard movement, somewhere to her right and a few irregular heartbeats later, the beeping stopped and Squall knelt down beside her.

He was bleeding from the nose and a wound on his cheek, but still managed to look like nothing was out of the ordinary, but for a brief flicker of panic in his eyes.

"You alright?" he asked. "Considered?"

She croaked out a yes and was suddenly pulled to her feet. The control room bent and moved around her and she grabbed onto Squall's arm for support, squeezing her fingers into smooth leather.

When she finally found her bearings again, she looked around and surveyed the damage. Due to its location high up and in the middle, no matter how Garden would land, the control room would be mostly intact. And it was, except for all loose items like papers, stationary and various gadgets littering every available floor space. Well, at least they'd landed belly down.

"Nida, where are we?" Squall's voice wavered, only a little, before regaining it's usual strength.

The pilot was rubbing one hand against the back of his neck, while tapping away at a keyboard with the other.

"Approximately 80.3 miles east of Deling, we're basically just at the edge of the Desert."

"What about communications?"

"There no damage to the systems, we just need to rearrange the signal.""Contact Esthar, tell them we're down, have someone alert Galbadia _and _Trabia and have both their Gardens come to our location. We're gonna need some help getting this thing off the ground again. Selphie, can you put a team together and secure the outer perimeter?"

"Yes, sir."

Quistis frowned, and winced as she did, hand coming up to gingerly touch the cut.

"You don't think it was an accident."

Squall glanced her way, before looking at Nida. "Did we manage to establish contact with Deling before the missile hit?"

"Yes, sir. But… it was just minutes before…"

"Two missile hits just after we announced our deviation from our appointed route. I'm not taking any chances. What about Garden itself, what does the diagnostics say?"

"So far, it looks like the lower levels are those where the most damage has been done. But you've already figured that. All of the operational systems are malfunctioning so it's safe to say we won't be getting out of here for a while. The upper levels should be fine, except for some minor interior damage."

Nida threw out an arm to indicate the mess they were all standing in.

"Casualties?"

"Too early to tell, sir. Most SeeD's were off duty, they're not wearing their locators, but there's signals coming in from all over."

"Ask for a headcount of those in the immediate vicinity, we need to know how many injures. Can you see if the Infirmary is intact?"

Nida was silent for a moment, consulting a schematic of Balamb Garden on a computer screen."Without confirmation from Dr Kadowaki, it looks fully functional."

Squall nodded and Nida turned to issue all the orders given.

"So really, what do you think happened?" Quistis asked as she pulled her rumpled hair back into a ponytail and gave herself a more thorough check of injuries. She seemed fine, except for what would probably become heavy bruising and aches that a few aspirin wouldn't cure.

"Deling is known for doing unscheduled and unauthorized missile tests in these parts. They usually don't do any testing on days when they know we're going to be passing by, no one can ever tell what could go wrong. The fact that they did only makes me more suspicious. It could be an accident, or meant to look like one. They've wanted to get their hands on Garden-technology for years, especially since Laguna denied them sanctions for building their own. Until we hear from Esthar and what they have to say, we're not contacting Deling again. If by some miracle they don't know they hit us, I'm not gonna give us over on a silver platter. Now, I want you to handle the evac. There's gonna be a lot of scared kids out there. Make sure everything is done calmly, I doubt there'll be more attacks while we're stranded here."

"Yes, sir."

She stepped out of the Control Room, carefully watching her step as she descended to the main level. She heard the noises of a big crowd before she saw it, and immediately headed over to Selphie, who was just gearing up a team of SeeD's.

"How does it look?" she asked, looking around the large dome where people were gathered, taking in the crying, frightened faces of the cadets. No one seemed uninjured.

"We took bad fall, ma'am, obviously", a tall, dark-haired boy said, probably no more than fifteen. She remembered him vaguely, but couldn't put a name to him. "We were down in the Transport launch when the first missile hit", he indicated the blond boy with a nasty cut down his right bicep, standing next to him and continued. "It's pretty banged up and I guess it's even worse the lower you get."

Quistis nodded at Selphie, watching the petite girl grind her jaws together, and the brunette turned swiftly to lead them out.

The Transport Launch. That was on level nine, just two levels above the Engine room. She wondered about the status of "pretty banged up" and shuddered at the thought of the two massive turbines located down there. She tried to shake the nasty images out of her head, concentrating instead on the Evacuation plan. She had it clear in her head, anal as she was about her job, and she went about getting SeeD's back on duty and back to work.

Half an hour later, the chaos had settled down to a more controllable turmoil after the somewhat accurate headcount had been made. So far there were no known casualties, but everyone knew it wasn't likely to stay that way. Two severely injured had been taken to the Infirmary and a harried looking Dr Kadowaki. She'd taken one look at the two boys, one with a massive head wound, the other pierced in the gut with something that looked like a trophy of some kind, and simply said: "I'm gonna need backup."

Quistis had immediately arranged it for her.

Before she had exited the Infirmary, she glanced at Dr Kadowaki's inventory list and felt a shiver of panic. B-Garden barely had any magic in store, other than what people might carry on them. The higher ranked SeeD's usually walked around with at least the most basic Healing Magic, but just coming back after helping Galbadia out with a mission on the Island closest to Hell, most were out or running very low. She swallowed and hoped Galbadia fared a little better and was willing to share.

When she felt like there was nothing more she could do at the moment, she went back to the control room, entering just as Squall finished a conversation with President Laguna, who for once sounded authoritative.

"How is it going?"

"We were just about to try and contact those with their locators on that are not assembled in the Dome." Quistis thought Squall sounded slightly sullen, but decided that it was probably just a response to talking with Laguna. "How are the others?"

"Two critical, about a dozen serious injuries. There's eleven SeeD's unaccounted for and five Cadets. As far as we can estimate, most of the Maintenance Crew is missing, except for three -very cranky- cafeteria ladies."

"But at least we can get the kitchen running, get everyone fed. That might prevent a downright mutiny."

Squall didn't even manage to sound sarcastic, only exhausted. He fidgeted a little, then pointed at the attendance-sheet Quistis was holding. "Those unaccounted for? Can you…Where are… Who is missing?"

She flipped though the pages until she got to the end and took a deep breath, steeling herself.

"Seifer, Raijin, Zell, Irvine, Lieutenant Commander's Saller and Rowe, Lieutenants Asher, Wilde, Silver, Morgen and Mill. The Cadets are Winger, Adam, Morrow-"

"Thank you."

She looked up, more names on her tongue, but she bit them back. She had enough trouble listing her friends as missing, and she thought Squall might have even more issues at _hearing_ them missing, unable to do more than stand there on deck giving order to have others try and dig them out. It sucked, but that was the Chain of Command. Squalls place right then was there, even though he probably wanted to be anywhere but.

Even Quistis had found it hard to remain professional, probably coming off as cold and indifferent when asked about others, and especially when she had been confronted with Fuujin, who's face looked like it had been repeatedly slashed with a whip, demanding to know where Seifer and Raijin was. She couldn't say, and she had tried not to let the sharp look of disappointment and disgust in Fuujin's one eye get to her.

"Sir", Nida spoke up from his station, headset now firmly in place, though sitting somewhat askew. "We're getting transmissions from the lower levels, shall I put them through?""Yes." Squall's voice was like cold steel against a whetstone.

Nida fiddled with some buttons, turned some dials and then the whole room was filled with heavy static.

"State your name, location and the number of people with you, injured and casualties."

There was a short silence, squelches and beeping, before the first transmission started.

"_Lieutenant Wilde, sir. We're on the Upper Maintenance Deck. There's seven of us in total, two injures, not critical, no casualties_."

Quistis let out a slow, ragged breath as the next on came on, knees almost giving out.

"_It's Seifer_." His voice, when she couldn't see him talk, was always so powerful. It still was but there was an underlying hint of desperation there and she could hear people crying in the background, only adding to her dread. "_I'm on the Transportation Deck. It's a fucking mess down here. We're 18 people, eleven injuries, three critical and seven casualties."_

There was no one in the Control Room unaffected by that news, but Squall seemed to take it personally. She stepped a little closer to him, hoping he could feel her empathy.

The Transportation Deck was just below the Launch-hatch, one level above the Engine room, and Seifer wouldn't call it a "fucking mess" if it wasn't almost completely destroyed. He had a knack for understatements.

"_Lieutenant Commander Saller, Lower Maintenance Deck. Fourteen in total, four critical, four casualties. Let's just say there's no one uninjured down here. What the hell happened, Commander?"_

While Squall briefly relayed the situation, Cid came limping into Control, a mountain of a man in full uniform, following behind.

"What's happening?" Cid asked, nodding towards Squall. He had a sheen of perspiration all over his face that probably stung fiercely in the small cuts that riddled his skin, most likely made from shattered glass.

His companion hadn't fared much better, although he made a better show of seeming unaffected.

"I know about the missile", Cid continued. "Seifer told me as he rushed past. I assume there was another hit?"

"Yes, Headmaster. We're getting reports on the casualties. Eleven so far."

"That's awful." Cid sat down in a vacant chair and frowned deeply. "Absolutely horrible."

Cid had always taken all fatalities of Garden as a failure on his part, but unlike all those other times, there was no Squall to tell him to soldier on, because the Commander was taking it personally too.

The transmission continued, separated only by a short silence.

" _Jordin Winger, sir. First Year Cadet. Uhm… I don't really know how many.. It's sort of spread out… I think maybe we were ten?"_ Cadet Winger fell silent for a moment and Quistis' heart clenched when she heard what was most likely sobs. When the young boy came back on, his voice was steadier, but only by a little. "_There's just me alive, sir. They're all dead."_

Quistis was literally shaking, and the silence that followed in the room drowned out the static. When Squall spoke she nearly jumped out of her skin.

"Jordin", his voice was soft and soothing, something she didn't know he was capable of. "Where are you?"

"_Storage Bay, sir."_

"Do you remember where the first missile hit?"

"_Uhm, it came through the wall. We didn't… I was just by the door and it… The cargo shielded me."_

"And the second?"

"_I don't know. I heard it, but I couldn't see anything, there was too much smoke."_

"Thank you, Cadet Winger, I promise I will have someone down there soon, ok? Until then I want you to clear away as much debris from the door as you can."

"_Yes, sir."_

Squall turned around, flinching a little when he noticed Cid and the unknown man, but regained his composure quickly. "So the first missile hit Storage."

Nida, completely engrossed on his screen, thought Squall was talking to him.

"Even if the second missile didn't hit the Engine room, the crash most likely caused enough damage. It's still not responding, and the warning lights are like a fucking Christmas tree over here, I can't seem-"

The static reached a new level of obnoxious and they all jumped when they could hear fragments of a voice coming through, getting more eligible as Nida franticly adjusted settings.

" _-vine Kinneas- -gine room! Hyne, it's-- and we're leaking fuel li- -razy down here, feels like it's gonna blow any second. We're five down here, three critical, two casualties. Fuck, Squall. Zell's down here. He's alive, but… Just get us out!"_

Quistis was looking right at Squall when the news came and caught the look of utter agony on the Commanders face. How his breath caught and was almost painfully pressed out of his lungs and how he pulled into himself, hunching down slightly as he closed his eyes.

She didn't step forward, knowing full well she would have rejected the touch if it had been her, her mind feebly searching for something to say.

Squall slowly straightened, and eyes like steel now, jaw set so hard Quistis thought she heard his teeth crack.

"We've sent teams down to clear away the debris to get down to you. It might still be awhile. Did the second missile hit you?""_Hell yeah! The first one too, it came through the fuck wall. That didn't cause as much damage as the second though. That went straight into the fuel tanks after ripping the hull open. There's lots of sand in here and we've tried to make it soak up as much of the fuel as possible, but we can't move around a lot. Is Selphie alright?"_

"Yes", Quistis said, letting Squall stare into nothing for a moment. "She's outside. Is it possible to dig our way in through the sand?"

Irvine spoke to someone else, low murmurs barely audible through the static.

"_We can't tell how deep into the sand we are, but it's worth a try_."

She turned to Squall, aware of Cid and his still un-introduced guest listening in. "Commander?""Do it. Have Selphie expand the perimeter, I wanna know in time if we're having company."

Quistis nodded and headed for the exit, hearing Squall ask behind her: "Zell… Is he conscious?"

"_Sometimes."_

"Tell him we're coming, alright? Tell him we're getting him out."

ooo

Irvine dragged himself back to the spot they had secured as much as they possible could, and Conn noticed what an effort that was.

"What did they say?"

The longhaired Galbadian looked at him for a moment before answering.

"They're on their way, but they can't say how long it'll be."

Conn sighed and cursed his luck for being stuck doing overtime on just this night. The maintenance crew usually only worked twelve-hour shifts before having twelve hours off, but Conn was filling in for his friend, a friend who probably sat somewhere safe. At least he hoped he was safe, so he could kick his ass later.

"Did they say what the hell happened?"

Irvine sneered and tried a find a position that didn't put pressure on his broken leg.

"No, they didn't and I didn't ask. They most important thing to worry about right now is to get us out of here soon. The 'why' can be dealt with later."

They both looked down at Zell, and Conn gritted his teeth at the sight. The skin on the blond's right arm and neck was riddled with angry red blisters from when the first missile had broken a hot water pipe and showered him. The left side of his face was little more than a bloody mess and Conn could almost make out patches of black where the tattoo had been. More than one rib was certainly broken, his breath wheezing as it was pressed through his chest.

There was also a deep long cut in his thigh that was their biggest source of concern. They had done their level best to stop the blood flow, but Irvine had had little more than basic medical training, and Conn only knew the wound was too big to slap a band-aid on. But they both knew enough about main arteries to know that with every beat of Zell's heart, more blood escaped him.

"They better get here soon. He's tough, but I don't know how much longer he can hold on."

Conn reached over to adjust the knot on the makeshift bandage, made from the relatively undamaged arm of his overalls.

When he tightened the knot, Zell groaned, a pathetically weak sound that made Irvine lay a hand on his uninjured arm, stroking it in an attempt at comfort.

"Hey man, don't move, alright?"

Zell cracked open one eye, bloodshot and swollen, looking around slowly.

"Still here, huh?

His voice was no more than a whisper, interrupted by painful gasps.

"Yeah, but they're coming, real soon, you just gotta hang in there. Squall's on his way, you hear me? He told me to tell you that. He's gonna get you out."

Zell made a noise, and awful choking sound, before he passed out again, his head lolling to the side.

Irvine sighed and sat back, leaning his head against the wall.

Conn shifted a little, trying to ease the strain on the cut on his back, and he could feel blood running down his spine, tickling uncomfortably. He had kept his mouth shut about the pain, seeing how both Zell and Irvine were both a lot worse for wear, but the longer time passed, the more painful it got.

"I guess a lot of people's dead", he wondered aloud, looking over at Hunter and Roofe where they lay covered by a tarp. They hadn't been close friends, but they had been good guys, strong workers and he'd seen them almost every day, so he would still miss them terribly. "If the missiles didn't do it, the crash most certainly must have."

He heard Irvine move, groaning while he did so. "Yeah."

"You asked about a Selphie? She's your girl?"

As time had passed, Irvine had seemed get more and more exhausted, taking lead from the start. Conn recognized the need to stay awake and decided to hammer the poor boy with questions until help arrived.

Irvine was silent a moment, and when Conn looked back he had a tortured expression on his face. He wasn't sure if it was because of physical pain, or mental pain.

"For now, yeah. I'm being transferred out of here, she can't come with me."

"Whatta shame. Hey, your leg's hurting, ain't it? Why don't you use some of that magic I hear you SeeD's pack around with?"

"It's not customary to keep them while in Garden", he said, but Conn could detect a rather mournful expression on his face.

"All out, huh? Must've been one hell of a mission you guys were on. Hey man, I don't know the details, alright, I just know we dropped some people off on the Island Closest to Hell, and I know that place ain't calm and peaceful."

With a shrug, Irvine nodded. "Yeah, it sucked. But even if it hadn't, magic isn't meant to heal paper cuts, and I was just coming down here to help you out."

Conn frowned at the jumbled sentence, but decided to forget he noticed.

"Yeah, thanks for that, mate."

Kinneas chuckled, moving again to find another position for his injured leg. Conn sat in silence, thinking while he ripped a stray piece of his overalls to shreds.

"So, this rumour about the Commander and Zell here…"

He could feel Irvine's eyes stare at him, more tension in the room now.

"Is not just a rumour."

"Yeah well, I'm not usually into gossip, so I just let people talk. They've been together for a while now, right?"Irvine still hadn't relaxed, though he wasn't staring at Conn anymore. His eyes were shifting from Zell to a spot somewhere above the left turbine, that Hunter had named Betty, and then back again."Little over two years."

"That's some time." Conn thought of all the other rumours that had reached his ears. "They happy?"

"They used to be." There was no disguising the bitterness in Irvine's voice but there was no telling to whom it was directed. It seemed that Zell and Commander Leonheart weren't the only ones that used to be happy.

"What happened?"

"They went public with it, people freaked out, just like we feared. I told them that it would happen, that not everyone would understand, but no, their happiness came first."

"I heard about some people quitting because of that", Conn said, trying to pull the overall out of the wound so it wouldn't scab with pieces of cloth in it. Irvine nodded across from him, a disgusted wrinkle on his forehead. "Some narrow-minded assholes if you ask me. Good riddance"

He pretended not to notice Irvine's shameful blush and went on. "I prefer people minding their own business and not blaming their misfortune on someone else. The Commander's been doing a fine job for years, but some can't seem to think beyond their own personal gain."

"Yeah, but maybe it would've been better if they had just kept it for themselves."

"Maybe, but love is never just two people's business. At least it shouldn't be. Isn't that why you kids are out there saving the world, again and again? Honestly, if Leonheart decides to let the world save itself next time, if this is the thanks he gets, I sure as hell won't blame him. Acts of love shouldn't be punishable."

Irvine didn't respond, but he did look preoccupied enough to keep him awake for at least a few more hours.

ooo

Seifer tried, he really did, but after two hours trapped with a group of teenage girls taking shifts at crying and complaining, his patience was wearing thin. Luckily, there where other people there too, responsible adult people (still in shock people), that actually did what he told them, even if they didn't offer much in terms of realistic ideas of getting free - or general conversation.

When it had gotten painfully obvious that they were going nowhere without help from the outside anytime soon, Seifer had taken it upon himself to take charge, seen about covering the dead and making bandages out of relatively clean shirts.

He was particularly proud of how he had managed that horribly vain rich kid who had enrolled in Garden just for the kick of it, to give up his ridiculously expensive shirt, by explaining to him that no one gave a flying fuck about how much his pristine white silk shirt had cost -or who had made it- and by being a good example. He wouldn't let anyone touch his coat, but the grey hoodie he'd worn underneath was no longer part of this world.

He just wished Squall could've seen him and gotten off his self-righteous high horse when it came to his attitude about Seifer's competence and the babysitting-missions he insisted on sending him on.

When they got out -and that better be soon! - he was going to-

"Sir?"

He startled, flailed a little before regaining his composure, glaring down at a red-eyed little boy not many years past ten.

"What is it Benni?"

"I'm hungry, sir. You have anything to eat?"

Benni's blues eyes looked up at him expectantly and Seifer cursed internally. People may not expect it, but Seifer had a weakness for children, their puppy-dog eyes and their blind faith in those older than them, and the general helplessness that small children possessed. He had tried to overcome it, his merciless teasing of Zell the most extreme of his attempts, but like all the other tries, it had been fruitless. If a small kid looked at him, eyes rimmed with tears and asking him or help, Seifer was by no means strong enough to walk away.

Luckily, no one had the faintest of a clue. He could just imagine Quistis' insufferable leering, calling him 'cute'.

"Sir?"

"I don't have anything, Cadet. Guess we can look around and see if there's anything down here. Why don't you go ask around, see if anyone's got something?"

Benni nodded, practically bouncing off despite deep shrapnel-wounds on his head, heading towards the closest group of people, most of them pilots.

Another couple of hours passed by excruciatingly slow, and he had even tried contacting Squall out of boredom, but he'd gotten denied by that twat Nida, who claimed Squall was in a meeting. Who the heck attended meetings in the middle of a fucking emergency?!

But as compensation (and Seifer didn't think it covered it by a long shot) Nida had told him a team of technicians were on their way to try and override the locks.

He had spent the last half an hour polishing Hyperion until she was almost luminescent in the pale green emergency lights. He knew it was probably a bit farcical, the way he doted on his Gunblade like it was a pet, talking to her, giving her nicknames, giving her a frickin' gender! But for many years, Hyperion had been his one constant companion that no one could take from him, even if they beat him and defeated him, broke him down to a bloody pulp; there was still his weapon. And to Seifer, that meant something, even if it technically was just a piece of metal.

"Sir!"

A shrill voice penetrated the adoring monologue that he was bestowing on his Gunblade, making him look up with a glare. The girl in question didn't even look fazed, just excited, jumping up and down on the spot like Zell often did. Hyne, it annoyed him!

"What?""We can hear something!", she said pointing at the door. "Sounds like knocking! We think it's a code!" The exclamation marks were obvious in her tone and Seifer rose smoothly and stalked over to door, pushing his way to the front and pressed his ear to the cold metal.

Like the girl had said, a muted knocking could be heard, heavy beats at irregular intervals and old communications lessons flooded to the front of his mind.

"Can you hear it? What does it say? Are we finally getting out?"

The girl was clinging to his arm, leaning against him and batting her lashes like she thought flirting with him would get them out faster.

"Would you please shut up?"

She looked offended, but Seifer couldn't bring himself to care and refocused on the tapping, spelling the words out in his head. Suddenly he reared back.

"Get away from the door. NOW!"They barely managed to get behind shelter before they heard three loud metallic booms and then the whole door curled over itself inwards.

Through the billowing smoke that followed, Seifer saw a team of SeeD's enter, weapons at the ready, probably more out of habit that expecting to find enemies.

"Lieutenant Almasy, Commander Leonheart requests your presence in his office immediately, sir!"

Oh, he did, did he?

"Have you gotten down to the lower levels yet?" Seifer asked, coughing in the dust filled younger SeeD shook his head. "No, sir. We've been instructed to try the air ducts from in here."

"Good."

He stayed long enough to make sure that the others trapped with him got out alright before he headed up the stairs. The structural damage was even worse this time, going up, that in some places he had to make himself impossibly flat to get through, debris and rubble so compact he wondered if all of Garden had collapsed.

But the higher he got, the easier it became to move and once he reached the office floors he was dripping with sweat and the cut on his arm that he hadn't noticed until he'd accidentally scratched it again squeezing by a wall ornament, was throbbing violently.

He entered without knocking, walking in on Squall talking to Cid and the Mayor of Fisherman's Horizon, the three of them standing in a random mess of papers, files and stationary.

"Seifer", Squall said, sounding more hollow than he'd ever heard him before. "I believe you know General Garrett."

Seifer nodded at the General who barely acknowledged him, unsure of how to react to the giant man's presence. He hadn't seen Garrett since he took refuge in FH after Ultimecia, and while they had never been on friendly terms, Seifer believed he had percieved the General as slightly more approachable the last time he'd seen him.

"I came to have a word with Headmaster Kramer about Balamb Gardens rather…unconventional situation. I hadn't expected to find myself a victim of such an unwarranted attack."

His voice left no room for misunderstanding who's fault he believed this disrespect was, a fact only made more obvious by the dark look in Squall's eyes and it reminded Seifer of why he had never liked the Mayer. Beside the fact that he was considerably taller.

"Next time we'll tell you in advance if we plan to be unexpectedly shot down in the middle of the desert, General."

The words were so acrid that Seifer almost applauded Squall, but refrained at the last minute. He did manage a smirk, that Squall -in his own odd way- returned.

"Why's that any of your business anyway", Seifer asked, wanting to participate in this game of Toss Crap at Authorities. He'd done it for so many years to Squall that it had lost its novelty, but General Garrett was new.

Garrett's black eyes bore into Seifer's but whatever power the other man may have held over him in the past, Seifer was over that now and he stared back.

"That's strictly need to know, Lieutenant Almasy."

"Then why the fuck am I here? People are dying on the lower levels and I'm standing here 'not needing to know'."

"Several of our commanding officers are either injured, missing or dead, and I need people with rank down there."

Cid sounded, still, very much like the Headmaster of Garden, and Seifer doubted he would ever look at anyone else as the rightful Headmaster again. Even if Squall did take over. _Especially_ if Squall took over.

The only thing Seifer hated more than taking orders, was taking orders from someone younger. And weaker.

That said, he didn't think Squall would totally suck at it. The little twink did have a knack for protocol and regulations, even if politics and bureaucracy wasn't his strong suit. Besides, some paper cuts would do him good.

"Seifer?" Squall arched an eyebrow at him and Seifer gritted his teeth.

"Uh, yes? Sir."

"Are you willing to take responsibility for extracting those trapped in Garden? If you accept the-"

"I accept!" Responsibility? Fuck yeah, Seifer was so there!

"-there will be a team waiting for you downstairs", Squall finished, reaching behind him to take a file and gave it to Seifer. The Commander's hand shook slightly and Squall looked like he was barely keeping it together so Seifer quickly pulled the file out of his hand before anyone else noticed. He was all for embarrassing Squall, but there was a time and a place for everything, and after a glance at General Garrett, he realized that no, this was not the time for indulging in childish hobbies.

ooo

Selphie adjusted the strap on the M16 assault rifle slung across her shoulder, eyes continuously scanning the horizon. She wasn't used to wearing firearms and the mere presence of one made her jumpy. She was afraid she'd accidentally pull the trigger, carelessly aim it all around, afraid to kill someone with it. She'd seen the damage bullets could do first hand, had even felt it, and she didn't want to inflict those kinds of injuries on anyone.

But with the beginnings of nasty bruises and painful cuts on almost every limb of her body, every muscle aching, it was a security she wasn't willing to give up.

Several hours had passed since the attack, but nothing had been spotted trying to approach them and she was getting restless along with a killer headache. Quistis had been awesome enough to come out and tell her personally that Irvine was relatively alright and that they would try to reach them from the outside, since the air ducts had only gotten the rescue teams so far. But a lot of time had passed since then and no other word had reached them.

"How's it going out here? Damn, it's hot! There's a reason it's only summer a couple of months out of the year. I fucking hate the desert!"

Seifer came stomping through the sand, followed by a ragged bunch of newly examined SeeD's, carrying shovels, buckets and tarp. With the exception of Seifer they all looked nervous, probably not having seen more action than their SeeD-exams.

"Selphie!" Seifer called her over and she grinned as she stopped before him, giving him a hearty salute that he frowned at.

"Don't do that. Commander Asswipe wants _me to oversee_ a _rescue attempt _made from the outside, wanna lend a hand?"

He made it sound like a tedious chore, but the sentence contained some of Seifer's favourite words and she thought she could detect some pride in his eyes.

He leaned in a little closer to whisper in her ear. "I… uh, my sense of direction is, you know, worthless. Where is…?"

"This way, sir!"

He swatted lightly at the back of her head and ruffled her hair, before he turned back to the newbie SeeD's. "Alright kids, follow me! And for Hyne's sake, watch were you're going. We have enough people to rescue as it is!"They walked around Garden's hull, to the place where it was pressed deep into the sand, deceptively free of visible damages. Most cars had more dents than B-Garden did.

"The Engine room is just behind here", Selphie said, pointing at where she was fairly certain it was located. The Engine Room was the largest room in Garden, only precedented by the Quad in mere height, and rightfully so, considering the size of the turbines inside.

"They say one of the fuel tanks is leaking so the room must be filled with highly flammable gas."

Seifer stood musing to himself, consulting a file. "So we can't weld out a hole to get them at through the hull. Alright people! We have to dig our way in. Lay the tarps out and make sure you pull them a good way away from the hole, I don't want a single dig to be unnecessary, they've been down there too long already. Let's go, let's go, let's go!"

The SeeD's scattered to their places, effective in a way only desperate people can be, and Seifer grinned.

"Addictive, isn't it?" she asked, remembering the first time she'd been made team leader, and the thrill of having her order being obeyed.

He glanced down at her, smirking, but his glee slowly slid off his face as he watched her.

"Hey, you need a break?"

She shook her head vigorously. She didn't want to sit around doing nothing, feeling even more useless than she already did.

"I think Dr Kadowaki needs help in the Infirmary. Quistis can-"

"I wanna stay here, Seifer. Please."

He nodded, reluctantly letting it go, but not before putting a reassuring hand on her shoulder, thumb rubbing comfortingly over her collarbone. It's not what Irvine would do when he knew she was anxious, his thing was running his fingernails down her neck, making her purr. But Seifer's strong hand spanned her entire shoulder, and she couldn't hold back the tears the welled up.

She didn't care anymore about transfers or break ups or a possible war with Deling, if this whole mess wasn't an accident.

All she wanted to was Irvine and Zell out of there now. Safe.

"No, no, no. No crying, Selph. You know I can't handle that."

She sniffled, but didn't apologize, not thinking she had anything to be sorry for, and knowing that Seifer didn't think so either.

"Just try and keep it together until we get those brats out of there. And this is a team effort, alright? We all gotta pull together."

She chuckled and wiped off her cheeks. "Hyne, you sound like the recruitment pamphlets."

"Yeah, well Cid made me read the entire Conduct of Discipline once, I guess some of it stuck."

"As a punishment?"

"No", he said sarcastically. "As cultural enlightenment. Hyne, just holding the damn book is a chore."

The SeeD's had started digging, but it went painstakingly slow.

"Isn't there any magic we can use to speed this up?" she asked, eyes following two boys dragging a heavy load of sand away from the dig.

"Like what? Effortlessly-lifting-away-a-ton-of-sand Magic? That's Ellone's department, ask her."

She shoved him in the arm as he snickered.

"I meant, can't we blast it away?"

"I don't know what magic we have that could accomplish that, without making it A) worse or B) go boom. I'm afraid we have to rely on good old-fashioned manual labour."

"As long as it's not yours, right?"

ooo

Zell drifted in and out of consciousness without any concept of the time that passed in between. Whenever he managed to open the one eye that still seemed to be under his control, and encouraged his mind to pay a bit of attention to his surroundings, he always saw the same things: sand, Irvine, the engine mechanic who's name kept eluding him even though the man wore a nametag on the overalls and blood.

Always blood.

The smell of it mixed with the sickening sweetness of the fuel, tickling his nostrils like he was about to sneeze and made him so unbelievably tired that it was hard to stay conscious even if he wanted to.

Sometimes he would wake up and not feel any pain at all, and it scared him more than when he was sure that his ribs were rubbing together like sticks trying to make fire.

He never remained conscious long when in absence of pain and he wondered if it wasn't just a dream.

And speaking of dreams.

His sleep was riddled with them; good dreams, bad dreams, weird dreams and hilariously funny dreams, most of the latter involving Seifer in a bunny-suit. He supposed they were only funny to him, because neither Irvine nor the mechanic laughed when he tried to relay it to the, but he wasn't about to question the content of those dreams, since he'd rather have those than the dreams about Squall.

Those were always painful, even when they didn't end in Squall walking out of his life. It always ached a bit more when what he dreamed were perfect and romantic, because he _**knew **_those were dreams. That they weren't real.

The only good thing about it, his injuries and his fickle conscious, was that he had finally come to some sort of closure about Squall. He would give the brunet the time he needed to figure out if their relationship was worth the total chaos it had involuntarily caused and he would respect Squall's decision.

Zell would get over it, eventually; it wasn't like their relationship had been smooth and seamless anyway. They had had too many near misses, false starts and close endings that Zell was doubting they were ever meant to be.

The last things he remembered before everything went blurry again and he plunged back into restless dreams, was promising to never take Squall for granted and seeing a sliver of light, dancing on the opposite wall.

TBC

* * *

Phew!

It went a lot easier to upload this time, mostly because I abandoned the whole HTML-business alltogether. And I know that the second chapter in a trilogy is like a conveyor belt of information, so maybe it's not all action and explosions, but hopefully you got something out of it. =o)

Hugs, Z


	3. Chapter 3

I made my own deadline, although I AM cutting it really short, it's like ten minutes to midnight here! =D

So, this is the last chapter of this story, so I hope you'll enjoy it!

* * *

Squall jumped in surprise when his phone rang, partly because he'd been so wrapped up in thought, but mostly because he had believed it was broken after finding it sprawled indignantly on the floor under a toppled bookcase.

"Yeah?"

"Squall", Seifer's voice was fading in and out, static crushing his vowels. "We're through the hole and are just extracting the survivors and moving on to Zell. I mean, the two _conscious_ survivors."

Seifer coughed and Squall took those few seconds to get himself under control.

"How are they?"

"Well, they appear to be having quite a good time, since we heard singing when we came in. I'm guessing they're high on the fumes."

Squall swallowed, palms suddenly clammy.

"And Zell?"

"I don't know yet, they're getting him now. They have to move him slowly, I have been told they're suspecting a lot of internal injuries that they don't want to make worse. Wait, they're coming out, hang on!"

Squall listened with growing anxiety to Seifer's heavy footfalls in the sand, faint voices talking fast in the background, Seifer farther away asking someone to let him through and then…

"Holy shit!"

Seifer was holding the phone away from him, but Squall was listening to intently he would have heard a pin drop.

"Get him to the infirmary now. If you got any Cures on you, cast them now. Move, damn it!"

Some more cracking silence, in where Squall could hear two people whispering to each other and then Seifer was back on the line.

"He's… Fuck, Squall, he's not looking good. They say he's still breathing on his own and I guess that's something, but…"

"I'll go meet them at the Infirmary. Good job, Seifer."

He hung up to what he knew would be baffled silence and hurried down the stairs, only registering in passing the vast amount he had to descend.

The Infirmary was filled with people; bloody people. Dr Kadowaki included, the front of her white lab coat smeared with it. She was issuing orders left and right to a small army of volunteers, casting spells, giving shots and rolling on bandages.

Squall approached her cautiously, aware of the gigantic syringe she was wielding like a prize and still a little embarrassed after his visit on Halloween some years ago.

"Doctor, how-"

"I'm saving the spells for those critically injured, since you know we're running low on Life and Curaga, minor injures will have to make due with band-aids and painkillers."

"Yeah, whatever, that's good. Where's Zell?"

She stopped momentarily, standing eerily still as she eyed him closely, before nodding at the door behind him. "I needed more space, so I put the critical in another room. I was just heading over there with fresh supplies, help me carry."

She stuffed his arms full of gauze and bottles, adding on to the pile as they exited out into the hallway.

Squall looked at the chaos they left behind.

"How many are there?"

"I don't know", Kadowaki said, rushing ahead of him. "I haven't had time to stop and count. It feels like a hundred, but I pray to Hyne I'm exaggerating. Luckily, most just need stitches and anyone with medical training can do that. In here."

They turned into one of the conference rooms that never failed to bore Squall out of his mind, but now the tables where pushed apart, serving as temporary beds, the chairs used as tables or pushed out into the hallway.

"Put those things over there, but bring me a bottle of peroxide."

Squall winced at the mention of the chemical concoction, too many memories of feeling the stinging burn as it cleaned out wounds.

"Yes, it hurts", Kadowaki agreed, holding her hand out for the bottle. "But the bacteria hates it and the patients aren't… they can't feel it."

Kadowaki stopped in front of a table to dip a cotton swab in the iodine and started dabbing at something that took a while for Squall to recognize as human. And even longer to recognize as Zell.

"Fuck..."

His entire body felt disjointed, and he scanned Zell's body frantically, his stomach tight as he noticed every new injury until he felt like lead. How was it possible to be so ruined and yet still be alive?

He leant down by Zell's head and reached out a trembling hand to touch bloodstained skin.

"Careful. The medics had some Cures on them, but not enough to heal him up entirely. It stopped the haemorrhaging, but there's still a lot of broken bones in his body, most of them ribs." Dr Kadowaki's voice was to the point and professional as she informed him of Zell's extensive injuries, something Squall appreciated, even if he really couldn't understand a word she said. "The wound on his leg worries me, it keeps ripping open, but we're keeping it under constant supervision."

Squall nodded along, just looking at Zell's hair, stained pink from blood, his breath sounding like something being dragged through gravel.

His vision blurred and tears spilled down his cheeks, but he didn't care. Couldn't bring himself to.

"I'm so sorry, Zell", he whispered, caressing the side of Zell's neck with a knuckle, not daring anything more.

He hadn't noticed when Kadowaki left him alone, didn't register the pained cries from the Infirmary, didn't care about Cid relaying the latest information via the intercom; all his attention was on Zell.

"Squall." Seifer's voice was right next to him, making him jolt upright, staring at the tall blond as he hovered by Zell's side.

"Cid sent me. Trabia Garden is about an hour away, bringing fresh supplies and tech support. Esthar called back. Apparently Deling claims that it was an accident. They were test launching some new missiles and wasn't aware of our presence, which is ridiculous, because we called in right before and it's not like they don't have radar and shit and-"

He stopped abruptly and cleared his throat.

"Galbadia is sending a few people, too, but they're still too caught in that storm to send in G-Garden. I'm not entirely sure what they plan to do once they get here, though. Gloat, probably."

He coughed again, shifting his weight.

"No one has been able to make a definite list yet, but so far we're up in twenty-seven casualties, most of them maintenance on the lower levels."

He fell silent, staring a Squall for long seconds. "Uh, that's it."

"Thank you."

Seifer shuffled his feet, twisting a silver bracelet round and round again. "Yeah, well… no problem. How's… How bad is it? With Zell I mean?"Squall wondered why the definition was needed, since Seifer seemed to know more about the state of Garden than he did.

"He's gonna be fine."

"Of course." Seifer sounded so sure and Squall had to fight to choke back a sob.

"I… don't know if I can…. Garden needs…. Someone have to…" Fuck, he couldn't even form a full sentence! But Seifer only nodded, taking another step forward, standing closer to both of them.

"Don't worry about it, Cid's covering for you." He chuckled a little and Squall tried on a smile for size, but it took too much effort. "And General Garrett left as soon word came through from Esthar, so you can't forget about him."

"Already did."

Seifer grinned, but it faltered as he looked down at Zell.

"You look like shit, Chickie", the soft warmth in his voice startled Squall, but Seifer seemed to have forgotten he was there. "You're gonna be so pissed when you see how your tattoo looks like now. It's like a five-year-old doodled on your face. Well, not _that_ much difference then…"

The tall blond lay a hand on Zell's chest, right over his heart, keeping it there for a moment until he hummed, satisfied and turned to leave.

Squall mimicked the action, careful to not disturb the ribs underneath, holding back a sob at the slow and irregular rhythm of Zell's heart. But at least it was beating.

ooo

_Two weeks later_

Irvine stole the latest of approximately three thousand glances at Selphie where she was curled up in the corner of her cow-patterned sofa. She went from looking no more than ten years old, to suddenly looking close to fifty; features alternately tensing and relaxing.

She was gnawing away at her cuticles and he really ought to stop her, but he didn't know how to bring it up.

He was leaving for Galbadia the next morning, and all his things were packed up, ready to leave, stacked by the door like a pink elephant, something they really needed to talk about but avoiding like the plague.

It had been a long month since he found out about his transfer, but the joy of seeing his hometown again was tainted with immense sorrow and regret.

He knew Selphie was upset about him leaving -he would have to be extremely stupid to not see it- but there wasn't anything he could say that would make her feel better. If it didn't sound incredibly hypocritical, it sounded downright mean, and the last thing he wanted was to rub salt in her wounds when she had so graciously avoided accusing him of anything. She hadn't begged him not to go or tried to wheedle him into staying, knowing there was nothing to be done about it.

She had been very sad, though, but he suspected it wasn't all because of him.

Zell still hadn't regained full consciousness, drifting in and out of his coma, leaving everyone feeling frustrated at the limitations of both medicine and magic alike.

Squall had almost completely secluded himself and Irvine hadn't seen or heard from the Commander in two weeks.

"Have you talked to Squall recently?" he asked slowly, wanting to break the silence that had gone on and off for the last two hours.

Apparently, breaking up wasn't just hard to do, like the song suggested, it was time-consuming as well. But he didn't want to leave without at least knowing that Selphie would be marginally alright. It was probably conceited of him, thinking he was such an important person in her life that she couldn't function properly without him, but he knew it to be at least a little bit true. Hyne, you didn't just stop loving someone over night.

"Not really", she answered, pulling her knees up against her chest. "Seifer mentioned him taking off for Esthar, but I don't know if he ever did."

"He find some kind of treatment for Zell?"

She shrugged. "I don't know. Mr Loire's got a lot of doctors and scientists there, they can probably figure something out."

Selphie seemed to be momentarily distracted from her previous thoughts, she had stopped chewing on her nails, so Irvine propelled on.

"Is Zell getting any better?"

Her eyes as she turned to look at him were hard and unyielding in their accusation and Irvine knew why. Since Zell had been admitted to the hospital, Irvine had been to see him exactly once, and then only stayed for a couple of minutes.

It had felt so fundamentally wrong to stand there, not just because Irvine knew Zell as energetic and exuberant and the person in that bed had looked incapable of anything like that ever again, but also because it felt like Irvine didn't belong there anymore. That his place was no longer with this group of friends, a feeling strong enough to make him wonder if he'd ever been a part of them to begin with.

But Selphie's eyes softened and she sighed. He had explained to her how awkward everything made him feel and she had understood, at least partially.

"He seems stronger now, not as pale. It's weird, you know, he's lost a lot of muscle mass, so he looks a lot cuddlier now. And his hair has gotten longer too, he's gonna hate it when he wakes up and sees it."

It was always _when_, never _if_, but that was Selphie for you. Always trying to stay positive.

"Not to mention his tattoo", Irvine added and managed to get a weak smile out of her.

"But it's so stupid, because Dr Kadowaki says he could wake up any minute now, but he needs some kind of incentive. It's nice and painless there in the coma, yeah? So Squall would be like the perfect incentive, only he's sulking away in his office and claims he can't stand to see Zell like that. I get it, I do, and it's awful! But if you love someone, shouldn't you want to be with them?"

Her tone of voice hadn't changed, but Irvine thought he could detect some bitterness behind her green eyes, even though she refused to look at him.

"Yeah." Hyne, what else was there to say?

She stared out the window, no doubt looking, but probably not seeing the bright blue sky and the beautiful day outside.

"Seifer calls it a.. Uhm… Catch Twenty-something. He spends more time in the Infirmary than Squall does, did you know?"

It was a hypothetical question but Irvine nodded anyway, just glad she was talking. And apparently, once she started, everything she had on her mind came out. But what would he expect, after weeks of uncharacteristic silence?

"Quistis got this huge crush on Seifer, but she refuses to do something about it. She denies it fiercely if we so much as hint at it, but I've seen her looking. And it's all so stupid, because even Seifer knows she likes him, and I'm pretty sure he likes her too, it's just so ingrained in their brains that they have to get on each others nerves that they do it automatically. It's like Squall and Zell all over again!" Her face turned speculative. "Maybe Ellone can…"

"No!" Irvine actually grabbed her arm, to prevent her from making any more progress along that train of thought. "No! No more magic, no more conspiracies and no more meddling! This is what happens when you rush things!"

He gestured around, including them, Garden still being stranded in the desert, Zell being badly wounded and… just everything.

"If you guys hadn't gotten involved, we wouldn't have to deal with all this right now."

"You're blaming us for the accident?"

Selphie looked incredulous, but it was slowly twisting into anger.

"No, I'm blaming you for us!"

Ok_, that _he hadn't meant so say.

"What?"

She wasn't looking surprised anymore, her face completely blank and it made Irvine blanch.

"Look, that came out wrong, I didn't mean-"

"Then tell me what the hell you did mean."

"Alright, if you guys hadn't conspired to hook Zell and Squall up, they probably wouldn't have. No, wait, I know what you're thinking, and you're partially right. They were very happy together. But if they had just waited a little, or kept it a bit more private… then people wouldn't have reacted like they did, and I wouldn't have had to make a decision about us."

"Decision? But you said..?"

"I know, and believe me, it wasn't a request, they really want me back there. But if I had refused…"

He trailed off when he noticed the dawning understanding in Selphie's face. "Huh", was all she said, head nodding slowly. When it became clear she wasn't going to say anything more, Irvine sighed.

"I'm really sorry. I never meant to hurt you."

A shrill, fake laugh escaped her, before she bit down hard on her lip.

"Could you be more clichéd?"

"Selph-"

"No, don't. I get it. I really do get it. Honestly. We had a good relationship, but not everything's meant to last. I know. But… you did love me, right?"

He realized he'd never actually said it, not using those exact words, but he'd tried to make it perfectly clear in all other ways possible. Apparently, he hadn't been as successful has he'd thought. The choked up feeling in his throat refused to yield no matter how many times he swallowed, so he pulled her in for a fierce hug, kissing the top of head like he thought he could make the hurt go away.

"Yes, I love you. But we want different things. Never for a second think it was an easy decision to come to. I really needed to think about it, and I guess that's when I realized that---"

"-- we couldn't work anymore. I told you I got it."

She pursed her lips and cocked her head inquiringly in his direction.

"Seifer mentioned something… about you being happy everything went to shit between Zell and Squall. What did he mean?"

"I don't know what the hell he meant, I--", then it hit him, that maybe he did know. "Ok, there's one thing I want you to know first. I am _not_ a homophobe." He was fairly certain she wouldn't understand what he tried to say, so he just wanted to make that clear first. "I'm really not.

"But Squall is the Commander of Balamb Garden, and Zell is his Lieutenant. They shouldn't have gotten involved in a relationship, not while Squall is in the position of authority that he is. I guess that's why people got so pissed. Not that he's gay, but that he's dating someone he's basically the boss of. Special benefits, all that."

Selphie nodded. "I see."

"No you don't", he smiled faintly. "But I'm not angry about that anymore. They did what they did, and it's no reason to go around carrying a grudge. Others will come around too, I hope."

"I hope so, too."

She still sounded so calm, although a closer examination revealed her eyes brimmed with tears.

"I don't want to cry anymore", she whispered, like it was a secret. "I think I've done enough of it already. I probably will, but I don't want to, so…"

She took a deep breath, and shrugged out from under Irvine's arm, but held on to his hand as she looked him straight in the eye and smiled faintly.

"Good luck in Galbadia and say hello to your cousin for me."

Irvine was on the verge of doing an incredibly unmanly thing, but he held it together, because Selphie didn't want to cry anymore, and it was his damn duty to prevent that.

"I will."

Her smile faltered for a second, before she forced it back. "Do me a favour, would you?"

"Anything."

"If you meet someone new, don't tell me. No, no, wait, tell me. And then never mention her again, alright?"

He nodded. "Yeah."

She smiled again, but he could see her lower lip quivering, so he scooted closer and let his fingers rake down her neck, like they'd done a million times before, something tugging in his chest.

"Look, maybe in a few months-"

"Irvine." Her voice was scolding as she glared at him. "Don't you dare patronize me and don't give me false hope. I don't want that."

She pulled away from his hand as she sat back pouting, an act so _Selphie_ that Irvine could help but smile.

"So what _do_ you want?"

She stared into the wall for a moment before she answered, not looking at him. "I want you to visit Zell before you go. Say goodbye."

ooo

Quistis peeked into the Infirmary, sighed in relief of finding it empty except for the patient, and then promptly felt guilty about it. Squall had more right than anyone to be in that room, it was just that she couldn't deal with him being pre-Zell Squall right then.

She stepped in and removed the paper from around the bouquet of flower she'd brought with her and looked around for a place to put them. Every vase, container, glass, jug or vessel able to hold water was filled with flowers, the room full of cards and stuffed animals. She recognized the furry Chocobo that Zell had won at a carnival years ago and wondered who'd put it there.

"Laguna stopped by."

Quistis spun around on her heels so fast that she stumbled and dropped the flowers, but still held on to the toy.

She hadn't seen Seifer where he was sitting in an uncomfortable visitors chair in a corner behind her, blond hair tussled, white shirt wrinkled. Judged on the hunched down posture she would've thought him drunk if those green eyes hadn't been so lucid.

"Irvine was here too", he continued, rubbing at his neck. "Scared the little fucker off."

She'd never understood why he'd never liked Irvine. She assumed it was because they had absolutely nothing in common, and that Seifer - being Seifer - just wouldn't bother.

"What are you doing here?"

He looked up at her, frowning deep.

"What, I'm not allowed to be here?"

He straightened in the chair and it creaked dangerously under the shift of his weight.

"Sorry", he murmured, rubbing the bridge of his nose tiredly. "Everything's just…"

He made an indistinct hand-gesture that she had no problem interpreting. _Fucked._

"Yeah. It's ok." She bent down to retrieve the flowers, found that there was still no place to put them and simply laid them across Zell's feet. Maybe some nurse would take care of them. "I just wondered why _you_ were here, and not Squall. Or Zell's mother."

Seifer rose from his chair, back popping, before he walked over to the bed, all unconscious swagger and Quistis flushed as he stepped up close.

"Mrs Dincht wasn't well to begin with, and Zell's accident sure as hell didn't make her better. Commander Sourpuss…" She could see his upper lip twitching like it wanted for form a sneer but Seifer wouldn't allow it.

"He's otherwise occupied", he finished, voice dripping with so much disdain that Quistis wouldn't have been surprised to see it form a lake at his feet.

"Zell wouldn't even fucking be here if it wasn't for Squall and his fucking problem with deciding whatever the hell it is that he wants."

Seifer was staring at Zell's face like he was angry with the fighter, but Quistis knew better.

"I know you and Zell were sort of friends now, but… But why do you get so mad on his behalf?"

Seifer breathed deeply through his nose as he formed a reply.

"When I came back after Ultimecia, people looked at me the same way they're looking at him now. They hate him for something he has no control over. They hate him because he fucking loves someone! I know what it feels like to have people talk shit behind your back, to avoid you in the hallways and not lift a finger to help you. They shunned me and despised me, but Zell never did. When I set foot in the Training Centre after I got reinstated, he gave me a frown, called me an asshole and… nothing was different. I just want to return the favour. I want to give him someone who won't look at him like this is all his fault, and if I'm the only one who will do that, then--"

He cut himself off and Quistis couldn't resist the impulse to reach out and touch. Seifer's arm was shaking under her hand, visibly upset but still trying to hide it.

"You're not the only one who cares. Everyone who's ever really taken the time to get to know Zell can't hate him. I mean, look around. There are flowers from pretty much everyone! No one wants to see him hurt, least of all Squall."

Seifer scoffed.

"Don't defend that little bitch. He's got no excuse for not being here."

"He's hurting too! Maybe not physically, but his heart--"

"He doesn't fucking have one!"

"-- his heart must be breaking. That's the most important person in his life lying there. How would you feel?"

He looked up, eyes boring straight into her, making her breath hitch. "I'd do exactly what I am doing."

She nodded, realizing for the first time that Seifer wasn't complete incapable of feelings, like she had suspected. That everything wasn't fun and games for him and that there actually were people that he cared enough about to express those feelings.

Maybe she needed to reconsider Seifer altogether.

"We all deal with things like this differently", she said, sitting down on Zell's bedside. "Maybe he just needs to come to terms with the situation and he'll be here more."

"Yeah, but the longer Chickie stays unconscious…"

"Zell will wake up. He's not the type to just lie around and do nothing. Not for long."

Seifer grinned, wickedly and wretched. "Yeah, well, when he wakes up I'm gonna kick this little fuckers ass!"

"Who are you calling 'little fucker', asshole?"

Quistis held Seifer's eye for just a moment longer, registering the baffled look the blond was sporting, before they both turned to the bed.

Zell was gazing up at them through several layers of white bandages, something that could've been a smile tugging at his chapped lips.

"Hyne, you two look stupid right now."

His words were slightly blurred, band-aids and stitches hampering his speech.

"But you're-"

"Dead? Not with you to arguing in the room. Gee, can't even let a guy die in peace."

Quistis wanted to slap him for speaking so flippantly about his own life, but the urge to hug him was stronger so she threw herself around his neck and burrowed in tight.

"OW! Seifer, some help please?"

She felt large hands on her waist, pulling her up and away from Zell, but once she was standing, the hands didn't immediately go away and she didn't resist to lean into them a little.

"So you're finally awake now, huh? You always were a bit slow on the uptake."

Zell tried to glare, but he knew he was failing and grinned defiantly instead. "Shut up, Seifer. I'm glad to see you're both ok, though. That was some scary shit. Anyone know what really happened?"

Even though Zell was notorious for letting his mouth run without supervision, Quistis could see he wasn't just making conversation. He must have heard at least parts of what they'd talked about, and who, and while Zell might not be the brightest crayon in the box at all times, he had an instinct to count on and a sharp sense of logic. You just had to weed through all the nonsense to hear it.

"Lots of shit happened, lots of people died or got hurt, but now's not the time for it." Seifer tone didn't accept arguments.

"Not even the cliff notes version?"

Seifer stepped closer to the bed and gave Zell a pat on the shoulder, slightly more awkward now when the blond was awake to see him do it. "I'll get a nurse."

After he left, Quistis sat down on the bed again, and at a loss for things to say she picked up the flowers again.

"I brought these", she said and blushed deep when Zell smiled.

"Thanks, you're the best."

She chuckled and hooked a strand of hair behind her ear.

"They're just flowers."

The blond shrugged and tried to touch a petal, but the lines and wires attached to his hand, and not to mention the largest cast Quistis had ever seen wrapped around his arm, got in the way.

"I see someone went a little overboard with the bandaging. He studied his arm for a moment, twisting it this way and that as he read the greetings that the students had written on it, half-smile on his lips.

Quistis sat in silence and studied him, happy to see him awake and moving, even though he would have a long way to go before he could be released.

"So, you and Seifer, huh?"

She blanched, and flushed and stared, wide eyed as Zell kept talking.

"Took you guys for-effing-ever to stop beating around the bush."

"What? No, we're not.. We were just… No, we're not!"

"You said that already, but didn't believe you the first time either."

They sat looking at each other, Zell grinning, Quistis terribly ashamed. The furious red staining her cheeks didn't diminish when Seifer stepped in with a nurse in tow, wondering what was going on.

The nurse kindly asked them to step out while she checked over Zell, but either Seifer had had enough of being nice, or it was his old habit of disobeying orders kicking in, because he made a big hassle out of it and Quistis had to practically drag him with her, all under the knowing smirk from Zell.

Once they were out of the room, Seifer made a big show out of straightening his shirt. She snickered and looked around the hallway.

"We should alert Squall."

Seifer's eyes darkened. "Already tried. Guess who's not answering his phone?"

Quistis sighed and sent a little curse Squall's way.

"I'll go talk to him. He's going to be very mad if we don't tell him right away."

"Whatever", Seifer replied in an eerily accurate impersonation. "I'll stop by Mrs Dincht, she's gonna want to know too."

Instead of immediately walking off, Seifer stood fidgeting with some object in his hand, maybe a paperclip, looking obviously distressed.

"Seifer, what's wrong?"

"Nothing, I just…" He made another flailing hand motion and Quistis nodded.

"I know, but it's going to be fine now."

He nodded, first slowly, but then more confidently and suddenly he leaned down and kissed her.

Too stunned to do anything other than hold on for dear life to her sanity, Quistis kissed him back, only vaguely aware of it.

He pulled back and licked his lips, nodding to her once before turning. "Right, and maybe I should find Selphie too. Don't want to get on her bad side right now."

She wobbled were she stood, the taste of him a slow explosion in her mouth and she could detect hints of cigarettes, coffee and cinnamon.

She pulled herself together enough to stumble the opposite direction, fighting but losing the battle against the giddy and triumphant grin spreading across her face and she prayed she wouldn't come across anyone she knew.

She had a reputation to uphold.

ooo

When Quistis had knocked on his door just a little over a half an hour earlier, wearing the silliest grin he'd ever seen on her, Squall hadn't really thought she was carrying bad news. But he hadn't expected them to be quite the ones she's relayed to him either, though.

He'd spent an unknown amount of time behind his desk after that, just staring incomprehensibly into space while his mind was reeling. It always stopped short on the same thing, 'Zell is awake', and then began spinning again.

He had needed to see it with his own eyes to believe it, but once he'd reached the door of the Infirmary, he'd frozen. For ten minutes he'd paced in front of the door, panicked and confused. He had no idea what to say, having spilled all of his thoughts and feelings at Zell bedside weeks ago. He wasn't sure he could repeat all that again.

Mid-pace, the door opened and Ma Dincht stepped out, momentarily surprised to see him. She quickly schooled her expression and closed the door behind her, with a quick glance over her shoulder.

A very perceptive woman.

"Squall", she said, obviously intending to say more, but found herself at a loss of how to continue.

"Is he… Is he really awake?"

Her face smoothed out and she smiled. "Yes, sweetie, he is. A little tired right now, though. Seems like all of Balamb has stopped by to see him."

"Oh."

Squall knew that it would have been impossible for them to talk with people constantly interrupting, but he still felt like he should have been there sooner.

"Maybe I should come back--"

"Don't be an ass, boy!" Squall flinched at the unexpectedness of the outburst. "He'll never be too tired to see you. Now get your butt in there, before I kick it in!"

"Yes, ma'am."

"Don't 'ma'am' me, young man, I don't work here."

She turned around and walked away, limping a little but held on to the wall for support. Squall took a tentative step forward, but without turning around, Ma Dincht stopped him.

"And don't even think about helping me. You should've been through that door already."

Zell was lying on the bed with his eyes closed, just like he'd been all the other times he'd snuck in after visiting hours to see him. He was fairly certain that Dr Kadowaki had known he was there, but she'd never said anything, and hadn't come in while he'd been there.

But unlike those other times, Zell's head turned at the sound of the door, eyes cracking open to regard his latest visitor.

His eyes widened almost comically at the sight of Squall, who was hovering just by the door, still unsure how his presence would be received.

"Squall?"

Zell's voice was no more than a whisper and he blinked rapidly as if he wasn't sure that Squall was real.

"Yeah." He stepped forward a little, to prove that he wasn't a hallucination. "If you're too tired I can come back."

"No, it's fine. I'm fine."

Squall couldn't be sure, but he thought it was almost worse seeing Zell all bandaged up like a mummy. Magic had taken the fear of blood away from them, no matter the injury. Squall had seen blood pump sticky and bright red from an almost severed limb, and it hadn't given him the same chills as Zell's cast did. The seemingly endless miles of gauze wrapped around Zell's body spoke of serious injuries where Magic had come too little and too late.

"I look awful, I know." Zell sounded sullen. "Ma says I'm as pretty as I ever was." He let his opinion of that statement be known with a derisive snort. "But she's just saying that 'cause she's my mother. I'm sure she read it in some parenting book she bought when I joined Garden."

Squall sat down in the chair by the bed and immediately his leg started bouncing.

"You look… You look like you've been in an accident."

Zell laughed, but he wouldn't look at Squall, hadn't _really_ since he walked in. "Yeah, I guess I do."

The silence that followed was pressing and uncomfortable, like silence with Zell had never been before. Zell always talked, and when he didn't, he would touch.

But now they needed to talk, desperately, but Squall couldn't find the words.

"Selphie told me what happened." Zell said suddenly, pulling at a corner on his beige blanket. "It was kind of surreal to hear it like that, but I can't decide if it's good or bad that I can't remember anything. You know, from after we crashed."

"It's probably good. You don't need to worry about that anymore."

"Yeah, not about that."

"Zell-"

"You were right, man. I was in denial. I mean, I knew things were pretty bad, but I guess I didn't want to know just _how_ bad. Feels like I failed at the whole boyfriend thing, anyway. I'm supposed to make you happy, but instead I made you miserable."

"No, Zell. Without you I would have given up long ago."

"Without me you wouldn't have had to."

"I never--"

"Irvine was right, I think." Apparently, Zell had no problems finding words now. "Back when we told them about us. That we should've kept it secret. That was my fault too, always on your back about telling people."

He snorted. "I really should get better at listening to you. Or you should get better at telling me to shut the fuck up."

"Zell, shut the fuck up."

The blond looked at him so strangely that Squall had to smile, but he soon turned serious again. "None of this is your fault and I completely overreacted when I told you I needed a break. You've never made me do anything I didn't want to do and just because something is reasonable, like keeping us secret, doesn't make it right. I don't regret telling people, I regret how people reacted. In hindsight, all I really regret is that people died. Everything else I can deal with."

At least he could now, with Zell awake.

The fighter shifted on the bed and Squall didn't need to see his face to know that he was upset.

"What?"

"That's all you regret?"

"Isn't that enough?" Zell nodded, but didn't say anything and Squall wished, for the thousand time that he was psychic.

"I can't read your mind, Zell, you have to tell me."

"It's nothing." He sure as hell didn't sound like it was nothing. "Look, I'm kinda tired. It's been a long day and the nurse gave me some painkillers before and they're finally kicking in."

Squall rose immediately, and regretted looking so eager to leave. "I'll come see you tomorrow."

Despite of himself, Squall couldn't just turn around and leave, so he stood there and watched Zell slide slowly down under the covers and turned off the light.

Zell mattered more than anyone had ever done before and he couldn't just walk away from that. This he had to fight for.

"I got what I wished for, didn't I?"

Zell's eyes burned on him through the dark. "What are you talking about?"

"I said I wanted a break. Well, I got it and I all wanted to do was take it back. My life is kinda boring without you, and there's this little thing that involves me loving you too damn much to just let that go."

"It would be easier."

Squall leant down on his hands, face hovering above Zell's, trying to see through the darkness. "For who? It won't be for me, or you. Obviously."

He couldn't see Zell's reaction, but he heard the sound that was unmistakably a sob. "I thought for sure you regretted ever meeting me."

"Zell."

"No, I know it's stupid, but I couldn't help it. I thought that while I was out you had gotten used to being by yourself again and decided you liked that better."

Squall sat down on the bed, and found Zell hand like he'd done all those other times he'd visited and rubbed it between his palms to get some heat back into it. Zell was way to cold too now.

"I never thought I'd say this, but you think too much." He bent down to place a kiss on Zell's brow. "I was a loner because of what happened when I was a kid. But you guys helped me get over that. The only thing that would turn me back to that person would be losing you too."

"But I heard Seifer and Quistis talking and they said you'd pulled away, so I thought--"

"Yeah, well, what do they know? They haven't been here around the clock." Squall smiled, and hoped Zell could sense it. "It's good to have you back."

Zell chuckled and let his free hand joined the others.

"I'm glad you think so."

"Of course I do." He wished he'd known before, all the things he referred to as 'of course' when it came to Zell, it would have made his life a little easier. "And I'll prove it to you once you get released."

Zell suddenly laughed a little nervously. "Uhm, I might have overreacted a little myself when you told me, uh, you know and I went to see Cid about getting my room back and all my stuff's--"

"They've been brought back to where they belong. Seifer got annoyed at having them clutter up his living room. And about your old room… Did you actually see Cid sign the requisition?"

"Uh, no? We got interrupted."

Squall vividly remembered the stabbing in his chest when Cid had cornered him about Zell and his plans to move out.

"Well, he tore it half just in case. So you still live with me." Zell sighed and Squall just held on a little tighter.

"But nothing's really changed, babe. People are still gonna…" There was a rustle of clothes as Zell probably made a gesture that Squall wouldn't have understood anyway. But he did get Zell's point.

"Yeah, but I've been thinking about that." He really hadn't, and only come to that conclusion just a moment before. But he felt surprisingly sure about it. "My father mentioned the possibility of me working for him and--"

"No." The lights abruptly came on, Zell's expression incredulous.

"What? Why not?"

Zell sat up a little straighter in bed, but didn't let go of Squall's hand. "You're not leaving Garden. Even if the Faculty would be stupid enough to let you go, what the fuck would you be doing in Esthar? You're always looking at Laguna like he's your dentist who just suggested a root canal. You'd go crazy within a month. No, you belong here, bigoted assholes or no and if anyone could change their minds about it, it'd be you. But you're partially right, someone needs to leave, and that someone is me."

"No, Zell--"

"Listen to me! I need time getting better, even with Regent helping me along. You'd have to find a temp anyway, so looking for someone more permanent wouldn't be too hard."

"But what about your students? You love teaching."

"I'm not saying that I'm not gonna miss it like a limb, but my kids will understand. And once I'm better I can always teach in Balamb, they're always talking about starting up a school, they just haven't found anyone who could, you know, train them. And maybe most importantly, it'll take a load off your shoulders, not having to second-guess my deployments." Zell winked, grinning. "See, I do notice things."

"I know you do." Squall took a moment to think. "Are you sure?"

"Yes. One hundred percent. And Ma… well, she's getting older and weaker and she's gonna need some help around the house now anyway, so, it's kinda perfect."

Squall's frown slid perfectly into place.

"Wait? You're gonna live with her?"

"I have to, I can't stay here. I won't be a SeeD anymore and you should know the rules."

He did know. Spouses were allowed aboard Garden during certain times, and usually never for very long. Asking for an exception for Zell would just undermine everything they hoped to accomplish.

"Then I'll leave to."

"No, I just told you--"

"Just for living elsewhere. There are no rules that says I can't live in Balamb, as long as it's nearby."

Zell was stunned into a shocked silence that lasted a little too long for Squall's liking.

"Are you saying that we… You want us to…live together?"

"Like we haven't?"

"No, I mean, getting a house or something, that kind of living together."

Squall mulled it over, for appearance sake.

"Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying."

Zell stared at him for a second. "Wow, baby, I'm speechless."

"Liar."

Zell laughed, and finally it was that carefree, fuck-the-world-laugh that Squall had missed so terribly.

"Speaking of liars; I wanna see my face. Everyone's been telling me I look good, you know, 'considering', that I know something's gotta be wrong."

Squall snickered. "You should sleep, Zell. You've got a lot of healing left to do and obsessing about your looks is kind of counter-productive and--"

"Squall? Mirror."

"Of course there's gonna be scarring, I mean, it's only natural, but--"

"Squall. Mirror!"

"I'm not a girl, ok? And I don't walk around with a mirror in my purse, I--"

"Squall! Give me a motherfucking mirror right now!"

* * *

And there you have it; the end. NOT!

Hello people, it's me we're talking about. I can't write a story without a fucking epilogue!! So yeah, the main story ends here, but I got a few things left unsaid. And I think one of you reading this got a wedding picture to finish drawing, yes?

*cackles*

Alright, see you next time!

Hugs, Z


	4. Epilogue

Here's the final chapter to this story and I'm so grateful to you who've read, and liked, this. It was far more than I had expected, but you've all given me a lot of fuzzy feelings and I hope I'm not leaving you wanting more.

Well, go on! Read!! =)

_

* * *

_

_Three months later_

-

-

Zell opened the door to the one-story brick house, no more than ten years old and within a five-minute walking distance from his Ma's house. It had been the first one they'd looked at, and none of the others had really felt as right.

He tossed his keys on the floor (and old superstition about keys on tables still hanging on since childhood) and called out: "Squall?"

He caught his own reflection in the hall mirror and couldn't resist the urge to take a closer look. The scars were nearly gone, just thin white lines marring his right temple and cheek.

After he'd healed up properly, and he'd seen the extensive damage to the tattoo, he'd decided he'd best get rid of it. No point in having the fragments of a ruined tattoo, and he had come to a point in his life where he wasn't a SeeD anymore and where he had nothing left to prove.

Squall had told him it didn't matter, that the tattoo had nothing to do with his feelings, and that it was Zell's skin and his decision.

But a week after Zell had made the appointment to have it removed, he'd looked in the mirror and seen the face of a stranger and it had been with a reeling mind and numb fingers that he'd made an emergency phone-call.

The new tattoo was almost identical to the first, with a few minor changes to cover the more visible scars, and the skin was still a little tender from the recent marking. Squall hadn't said anything, but Zell had seen the relief in his eyes anyway and often at night, Squall would lie next to him tracing the lines carefully, memorizing the new pattern.

"Squall?"

He reminded himself to tell Squall about his encounter with Seifer and Quistis earlier that evening. They'd been coming down Balamb's main street, looking so lost in each other that they hadn't noticed him until they'd almost stepped right over him.

They'd stuttered and blushed, and Zell hadn't really helped matters any by just standing there grinning and in the end, Seifer had swatted him over the head and called him Chickie and stomped off. Quistis had looked so immensely uncomfortable, that Zell had taken pity on her. So he had grinned some more and told them to behave themselves, before he'd walked away with a wink.

He smiled at the memory and walked through the kitchen into the living room, finding the patio doors open.

Squall was standing at the edge, leaning against the rail, staring into the back yard and Zell took a minute to admire the brunet's ass, before Squall heard him hum and turned around.

"Hey."

Zell smiled and walked out to greet him, catching that hungry look in Squall's eyes before he grabbed him to pull him into a kiss.

"Hey, baby. Whatcha doing out here?"

Leather clad arms wrapped around his waist, forcing him to stay close.

"Looking at our backyard. It's huge."

Zell grinned, looking over Squall's shoulder at the patch of grass.

"Not really."

"Good, then you can mow it."

Zell slapped him on the shoulder, grinning at Squall's grin, wondering how the hell he could've gotten so lucky.

"So I got a call from Galbadia." There was always a subtle shift in Squall's posture whenever he starting talking about work. He got just a bit stiffer, just a bit more serious. "Apparently they're not shunning us anymore. The new Headmaster even suggested a new exchange of students. I'm almost embarrassed to admit how fast I agreed to the terms." He chucked, a bit too dryly to be completely sincere.

After Zell had been released and his resignation signed, Squall had gone back to work but not full time. He was still prone to massive headaches, most likely induced by stress and Kadowaki had had to forcibly assign partial sick-leave.

Despite everything, it seemed that Squall's actions during what was now referred to as the "New Deling Incident" had earned him some new respect and there had been no more resignations or transfers from B-Garden.

The situation with Deling was still unresolved, but investigations showed it was most likely an accident, due to an awful mistake as a result of spilled coffee. But Deling was still being carefully supervised and B-Garden hadn't gone anywhere nere the city since and probably wouldn't for a while.

Zell changed the subject.

"Did you hear about Irvine?"

"He's fine. Says the Galbadian students are really dull compared to ours. I'm not sure why that's a bad thing. He also found it necessary to point out that he's still single. You think that was an invitation?"

Zell barked out a laugh and shook his head. "Only if he doesn't value his balls anymore. Did you tell Selphie?"

"That he's single? No. But I did tell her he'd called and that he missed her."

"Aw, baby! You shouldn't have done that! She's gonna be all impossible now."

"Then maybe I shouldn't mention that Galbadia is considering lending him out again?"

Zell shook his head insistently. "No, not yet. But keep the option open."

"Always." Squall grinned wickedly. "So how was your day?"

Zell stretched to try and ease an insistent cramp in his left deltoid, a remnant ache from his injuries.

"It's been ok. One kid pulled a hamstring; another got kicked in the eye. But they're getting better. I keep having to remind the parents that I'm not training their little babies to be mercenaries and that a correct falling technique is the most important thing in Martial Arts. It's not a frickin' kindergarten I'm running. "

"Could have fooled me." Squall shifted again, pulling away so he could look Zell in the eyes. "Look, I know what we agreed on, but finding a sub for you turned out to be a little trickier than we thought. I've talked to Cid, he says it's not impossible to take you back as a civilian consultant."

Zell frowned and crossed his arms over his chest. "I don't know…"

"I know it won't be the same as being a SeeD, and I get that you miss that, don't think I can't see it."

"No, I do. But I think half a foot through the door is worse than not having that option at all. I mean, if I knew I _could_ have it…"

"You always tell me to keep my options open. Maybe you should take your own advice?"

Zell thought for a minute, trying to quench the burning in his stomach, recognizing it as longing. He missed being a SeeD, more than he thought he would. The first month of waking up in the morning and being reminded that all the excitement he had to look forward to was physical therapy and teaching six-year-olds how to do a childproof Drop Kick, had been almost painful. It was better now, but the distant sound of Garden's engines revving up would never fail to knot his stomach.

"Yeah, ok. I'll think about it."

Squall smiled and leaned in to kiss him, slowly and sweetly, his gloved hands finding their way under Zell's sweaty red t-shirt. "That would mean I wouldn't have to miss you so much when I'm at work."

Zell couldn't help the slight hitch in his breath at the admission, wondering when the hell Squall had gotten so romantic. "What about absence making a heart grow fonder?"

"That's bullshit. It just makes me cranky."

Zell wound his arms around Squall's neck, letting his tongue find it's way into the brunets mouth, feeling the plain silver band on his left ring finger catch in his fiancés pendant.

Yeah, life was pretty damn good.

* * *

Thank you for reading!!

Until some other time,

Hugs, Z


End file.
